Shelly, The renegade of an alley cat
every day the same routine
..standing on her corner to the concrete she leaned,
.. with her magazines, selling them for a buck and a half
with this sad expression drawn into her face, she couldnt laugh
cause she was.. lacking refinement, her 'being' was uncouth
resulted in an enduring of her necessary ethical truth
an unvarying & a habitual method of her procedures, it never changed
her thoughts deranged, .. & never exchanged..
& her teardrops reflects on the lights, the city shines so bright
so pure yet dangerous & unsecure she is wrong but in a way right
task's giving, remain unfulfilled & her blood is spilled
the jokes told, but the pranks killed .. so sad
all this time, bein obedient,tryin to protect, her self from a painfull furter hummiliation,
Cause in side her head its just a dubious unaccountable destroyed organisation,
the simple life, just breathing and walking the cold & wet earth
learning on the curve, trying to survive.. for what it was worth
but the question stays..will it ever change .. or always be the same?
than the renegade struck her & the thoughts just rattled on
what is it with life? & people that live the lifes
though you have this noticeable heterogeneity, we all do
not that we are deity, but in ways we are all true..
people characterized by the suppression of impulses
acting with istinctive motive's and discretion in pulses
formed together ..
as a group of symbols and figures
.. making a mathematical statement
though law enforcements tryed to stop it
.. with a rude fanatical abatement
knowing we are all part of this system trying to teach..
putting us in an exhilarating psychological state
of pride and optimism though our thoughts were bleached
people just trying to make a diference
with an excessive enthusiasm and intense devotion
a voice you can use but not to loud or w/ immense emotion
and the sentiment shared by most people living in tenement
cause we dont live in manors only face everyday struggles
no help from any enchanters
combined with mind growing hemorrhagic fevers
and we as puppets are the reciever..
with those gastrointestinal symptoms of capillary hemorrhage
turned us all in to non believers
resulting in to a sudden renegade
like elemental violence, without a proper science
releasing uncontrolled emotions resulting in a akward compliance
& you dont need any proof, that they condemned us and our youth
leaving us with a roughly approximate version of their truth..
taking a look at myself, trying to picture what its all about ..
and i feel it inside, it will happen .. i will cross my own restriction!
afraid for the results of this inner conflicts,
still not prepaired for any contradictions..
this psychologically habit-forming addiction that will once erupt
and profile its self in this weird unceremoniously brusque in my own manner
my system just corrupt ..
its so weird .. this lack of self-sufficiency
..with a strange dependency
just obsessed w/ a constitutional dark tendency ..
.. feeling gloomy and depressed
I confessed ... its pure truth .. i am ..
..influenced & controlled by this powerful force of strong emotions
tears struggling with my thoughts, causing a self esteem demotion
all this commotion resulted in this disorderly outburst ..
an ocean of pain took me under i was ..submersed
and than they say the suicide is painless.. but the pain just drives you suicidal
ending it all with this descriptive final of my own personal idyll ..
.. for all the due's i allready payed..
maybe thats why my uncontrolled inner conflicts resulted in a renegade.
..Shelly.
Reply With Quote
