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Thread: A Happy Ending

  1. #1
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25

    A Happy Ending

    A Happy Ending
    By Untouchable


    ::My Death Sentence::
    June 22nd, the day of my death, guards quietly wake me up from my rest
    No one cares, they still insist of awaking me with a stick to my chest
    It doesnt phase them, the tears in my eyes
    Its so unfair how they can actually schedule someone's demise
    They pull me out of my cell, purposely trippin me until I fell
    I cry, askin for forgiveness, n' they laugh until I turn pale
    Of course, I am scared, frightened of the chair
    And they continue to insult me as if they dont care
    So depressing, this sorrow and sadness in me keeps infesting
    Im innocent, never hurt a fly...and they never heard me confessing
    A conspiracy, so tragic and drastic, assuring me to end up in my casket
    Forced to bunk with big inmates, so horribly depressed living like a faggot
    NO ONE understands my fucking pain, the humiliation of my name
    Life is supposed to be like this, we are supposed to live insane?
    The system, meant for right, then why am I forced to feel a dick every night?
    Why do they have to take my innocent life?
    And now I cry, as I walk into the room, and on the chair, acrossed from my wife
    My daughter stands, pouting, as my final seconds begin counting
    I wave goodbye, and as they pull the lever my body begins pounding
    I scream as if im insane as my brain ignites in flames
    Such euschruciating pain, shocking sensations all through my veins
    Surge. Its over. Done. The witnesses begin descending.
    Only hatred and pain, its the american way, no happy ending.

  2. #2

  3. #3
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25
    Uppin.

  4. #4
    +Jilla+
    Guest
    this was a real deep peice...........no joke i wuz expectin sum kind of plot twist...wit tha title Happy Ending......
    But this is good lyricism rite hea...You did a good job of painting tha PICTURE in mah head of sumone walkin tha green mile......
    but ay I m new..and i hope i see more drops like this..../

    Tha one line that wuz sheer genius......and so very true
    The system, meant for right, then why am I forced to feel a dick every night?
    ^^^^^^^when u emcee u can't be afraid to point out truth^^^^

    good job

  5. #5
    Omni
    Guest
    nice drop...vocab and flow were basic but decent. like Jilla i was expecting a plot twist, cuz of the title, but letting the execution go through was in itself a plot twist. You stayed true to how shit is. What i didn't feel was how u had ur verse set up. idk but when i see a verse thats structured like this i really lose the drive to read it. STill dope though.

    Piece gets a 7/10
    return the favor- http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=207687
    Last edited by Omni; July 4th, 2005 at 04:35 PM

  6. #6
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25
    Thanks for the feed.

    Bump.

  7. #7
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25
    Uppin.

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