Fuck Fiction Here Come Straight Up Facts
Read And Reac tGetLaid Down Face Down On Ya back
It'll Be Infine Wit Heart Attack Fuckin With This Stat
Next Sec You Done Gone erased Easily Replaced
I Bring A Knife To Gun Fight
Even Wit That
Failure I Lack
A Conversation Against 1 THe ONly
Coimin And Battle
You Cant Handle This Just Shut Yo Shit
Take Yo Shot I'm Waitin In MIddle oF YO Block
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b0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo Nuff said
yea Guess So
ive done better
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this was weak overall, i'm not really impressed with gthe effort here, if you even did put any into it, you need to wrom on every basic rap skill, juist elevatate
I'm afraid to say this piece lacked on several fronts. It didn't flow well and lacked any imagery, emotion, or wordplay. There were some multies in the first few lines though, so it wasn't all bad. Next time you write, if you want to improve, you should pick an interesting topic, e.g mirrors, then just see what ideas you can write about that. You need to convey emotion, and use vivid imagery to improve. If you're writing about somebody, try and write about what they're feeling. And when setting a scene, go into detail about the situation, e.g describe the way light hits objects and how things look in general. If you do this kind of thing I guarentee you'll get better with practice.
I'm surprised they didn't delete me ages ago...
...........Eat Shit and Die!
..................../
............:vanja:
boy, you need serious work okay.. it was so short and jus simple, structure was ok tho and the vocab wa saight but you ned more work on that ok it wanst that interestin ta me feel me?
THE FAMILY.
Good ShitOriginally Posted by RockMan
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