Tell Me << remix >>

[G-Money]

now baby gurl i aint even tryna rush in
but with looks like that u got a yung man crushin
which leads to mischievous things wit ya seduction
we'll kiss to end discussion then get to the touchin
gurl ur experience will bring the night brillance
waiting for that special moment to release in millions
u got me feelin orgasmic, got my legs spazin
both layin the bed buttnaked relaxin
can i bust in ya mouth is wat im askin
i see by ur actions u like wat im packin
now turn aroun n let me hit it from the back N
get that booty clappin, damn why the bed straight smackin
the wall, kiss my neck down to my dick, now u can lick on my balls
gurl we aint stoppin at all, u wanna manage then u betta give ya gurl a call
so i can watch u gurls bring out the freaks inside ya
now which one wants to be lucky n let me fall asleep inside ya?


feedback please, i'll return the favor !! holla back




http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167511
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=177836

[G-Money]

uupppiinn

[Legacy01]

yea yea, niec nice... i thought tha flow was aiight... and my fave line :

gurl ur experience will bring the night brillance
waiting for that special moment to release in millions

imagery was cool, a topic thats written about alot...but i like to read different versions of how shit can end lol...this was good, and ya start had a nice amount of multis, keep droppin... elevate on tha length lol...thats all, and word play wasnt that bad either... keep droppin

[warchild]

Lol im not really a fan of the love relationship type pieces but this made me laugh i thought it was gonna be corny but it was funny to me in places like when you ask the bitch can you bust in her mouth just made me laugh.
The vocab was ok but the flow was weak which didnt help the piece but like i said this just made me laugh, nothing wrong with that.

Return the feed:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229664

[STAT$]

This was iight I've seen better from you....but no hate it was koo.....Vocab and imagery were nice...a couple stretched lines....other than that it was good

[G-Money]

fa sho thanks for the feedback i will keep it all in mind.... warchild i will work on makin the flow harder next time ...yea on text the lines are strecthed but on the record it comes out all good ... lets get some more feedback

[Zone]

it was cool homie, the flow was cool, i just think its a lil short but it was good

[EyeBite]

iight, the rhymez wre real tight, flow and structure was pretty even and smooth , vocab was pretty godd, not the best but good, topic wasd kool, word play kinda wasnt here, you need to elevate on makin drops longer, nice job, keep elevating. peace

[G-Money]

^^ fa sho ... this was jus my lil two sense thrown into the song but yeah i will definitely keep that in mind appreicate the feedback lets get some more in