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Thread: Oh Word Presents : Victoms Of Another Reality

  1. #1
    Moral Insight
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    Oh Word Presents : Victoms Of Another Reality (Feat)Lyricalgansta

    Moral Insight

    No where to turn in this hard time, But only to Jesus our highness
    Souls are lost in a mist of pain while pysical Bodies Remain lifeless
    Floods wash out the poor.. loved ones are Trapped wit no Escape
    Solitude Swallows Todays Lives.........economy now seneses Ache
    Images of loved ones floating on tires just to make ways 2 jus live
    Tears of Ghetto soldiers mix wit Determination..to find their justice
    hoods are torn up now............. no chance to ever know success
    People are now Seriouly currpted............ by the Stench of Death
    The nights now get cold.... lonely with no remorse fo sad graditude
    we Cant complain.... when there the ones who have mad attitudes
    Trapped visions are all gone now.......... Washed away in the flood
    Cold bodies holding on...... While their souls are washed with Blood
    I look to da skys wit anguished visions to all of those dat are done
    And wonder if in the end.............if humainty be the one who won?
    Donations are being made... but all the people are still tryna Go on
    Fore-seein all america's agendas but yet i still wonder if N.O is One
    I mean no Disrespect....... to yall efforts to be helpful by all means
    But this goes out to Mississippi and to all da people in New Orleans
    Man FUCK katraina man just FUCK that damn Tragedy by all means
    and this goes out to Mississippi and to all da people in New Orleans


    Lyricalgansta


    how can one touch on these devistating matters so deep
    when people lost everything from there house to jesus piece
    whats the government gonna do now that our streets are flooded
    disaters happen when u least expect it thats y its all of a sudden
    thousands of bodies left , the sad thing is history allways copies , itself
    so we gotta be prepared but remeber that the children are scared
    all the tears , pain , and sorrow there is nothing compared
    how fast she came , Hurrican Katrina , never could have been meaner
    Where is my parents I overheard this young child begin to say
    GOD what sins did this young girl do to pay this way
    theres no doorway to hell , but 10,000 entries to heaven
    for too many it wasnt okay , and god willing they got my blessin
    the little boy said "winds flyin faster and faster
    my mommy got caught in a twister , daddy couldnt catch her "
    what rights did mother nature have , to cause such a disaster
    hey BUSH , whatch gonna do now , go call ur pastor

    ~1~
    Last edited by Moral Insight; September 12th, 2005 at 07:14 PM

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Moral Insight
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    Uppin

  4. #4
    Moral Insight
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    ...

  5. #5
    Moral Insight
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    ...

  6. #6
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    multies were good and same with word play
    rhymes were really good...........
    topic was good
    flow was exellent for the first verse
    but the second was a lil choppy
    same with strucutre
    nice job both of you
    keep it up

  7. #7
    Moral Insight
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    thanks
    uppin

  8. #8
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    I figured someone would do a piece on Katrina, the piece was ok. I think you both could've gone into more detail with your imagery and improved the wording (vocab) of your lines. Your styles gelled well enough and you kept me reading. Some multi's would've made this easier to read though. Its good to see someone tackling this recent tragedy on the board.

    Keep posting fella's.

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  9. #9
    this was quite nice. it is good to see someone tackling the topic, and u did so pretty well. the piece had high points and slightly lower ones, in both verses. some lines seemed quite emotional, and they were good eg the line about the little girl's sins. some other lines were a little too basic in the way they dealt with the issue, and could have been worded in a more moving way. flow wise it seemed nice, not many flaws, except for one line in the first verse where u went a bit overboard with the .......'s, but flow and structure was good. maybe a few more multis but hey, this was nice to read.

  10. #10
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This was a decent piece the concept wasnt orginal but i did enjoy some parts of the verses. Moral i prefered your verse because the vocab and imagery was very detailed i could picture the shit you was saying.
    Your flow wasnt too strong but the imagery was solid so i liked your verse.
    Lyrical your verse was decent but didnt really compete or compliment morals verse there was some good points made in each verse but i just felt the two verses didnt gel as well as they should have.

    Return the feed:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=232302

  11. #11
    A few of the Chosen Lurid's Avatar
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    yea we did the OM sepperatly and i didnt read his verse till after i posted my verse but w/e

    its a deep topic
    as well as my first OM so uppin for more feed so i can elevate and start writing better OM's and having more tight colabs
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  12. #12
    Moral Insight
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    uppin

  13. #13
    A few of the Chosen Lurid's Avatar
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    yo lets see some feed
    this is all a topic we are thinking about
    so i hope u take this as serious as we did

    plez leave feed or thoughts w/e

    uppin
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  14. #14
    *Soy Tu Fin*
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    multies were good and same with word play rhymes were really good...........
    topic was good flow was exellent for the first verse
    but the second was a lil choppy same with strucutre


    in all it was aight

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  15. #15
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Ether Spitter's Avatar
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    Ya piece was felt and was societal….tho ya delivery could have been more succinct in getting to the point of what you were tryin to personify….the first verse had depth in a few areas…truth as it were: Trapped visions are all gone now.......... Washed away in the flood
    Cold bodies holding on...... While their souls are washed with Blood
    ….the second piece I really didn’t connect wit…to be honest I didn’t feel like reading the whole piece….its asked questions to which there are no answers other than what God has delivered in silence…an example would be disaters happen when u least expect it thats y its all of a sudden….dnt ask such a dumb question….u don’t like it…ask yourself that question….other than that…this was an overall felt collab….keep it up

    Igido

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