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Thread: Running (a short one (plz give feedback)

  1. #1
    mc FireSt0rm
    Guest

    Running (a short one (plz give feedback)

    Running (a short one (plz give feedback)

    the streets i no iz a ghostly haven
    the onli thing im cravin iz sum more patience
    cuz my feet are cold no hesitation
    i pull my gun out, my arms are shakin
    i pull the trigga theres no remaining
    sound of the ravens chirp and the rushing crowd
    that i hear so loud in this street of the
    cuz i my senses enhanced as i look around
    but ppl seen me du it,im worrying now
    cuz i can hear the sirens a ther a block from here
    by now she's starting to tear all of a sudden she meets her worst fear
    her feet start to flare lyk shes wlkin on air
    but she can't escape from the stear of the gathered
    teary and battered she runs 2 blocks still weary and tatted
    by now she hears the thudding feet behind her
    she runs in2 a store and their her heart pours
    wot if they find me plz hide me miss
    but they caught up , but they arrested her on murder and resist

  2. #2
    ~~~{ :) E s c's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    2,610
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    Double post n you need links?
    Move on , no irony here.

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, thanks.

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Dont CHange My Area MuFukka
    Age
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    this sound likc some gangsta poetry like keep dropen though kid you had a decent structure but you should practice a lil more and leave feed on Peoples Om and learn from what you read keep it up though werd

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    Black Death




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    ..::OM's::..


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    Topinnacle



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    To DAMN DOPE^^^




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  5. #5
    mc FireSt0rm
    Guest
    fnx ill, post ma links now

  6. #6

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