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Thread: 'The Death Of The Hated Rival' Featuring: Xtreme Malice.

  1. #1
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    'The Death Of The Hated Rival' Featuring: Xtreme Malice.

    Xtreme Malice

    This neglected foe, radiant of an septic glow
    Pressure low, breathes deep, but his breaths are slow
    He expects to go, chest fill'd, redirects the flow
    He awaits his death, he's scared, but accepts it thoh
    It's regretted so, remnants, now depression shows
    How his rival lies in the mist, much respect is shown
    Detest the tone, shallow fate, now he's left alone
    The hate brought them together, it was best to grow
    His rest is prone, to silence, from aggressive moans
    Adjust his soul, buries rival, then he bless'd his home
    Next he romes, impressed, his next step is known
    Corrects the dust of time, as he collects his throne



    Illus'Artis

    Battle a century, clashing mentally no comparison next to thee.
    Hated you immensely. Skills I adore. Rivaling so gracefully.
    Your personality was gore. Scabbed picked at, endless sores.
    Scorched me with brutal thoughts I hated that source.
    My wit of a sword on a day of dark mist, slit your wrist.
    You bleed a puddle. Peaceful now you lay in heaven's bliss.
    But now a fellow rival has fallen , my mind at awe. Heart calling.
    I killed my love. Forsaken, breaking my own heart moaned
    with anger. Taking such a great skill witted, clever fitted ,
    strong and gifted, rival away buried and submitted.
    Now I have nothing left. No one at best can match her craft.
    Sword will never feel the love of clash, I fall to my own raft.

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Banned Eye`'s Avatar
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    fucking shit. nice job guys. nice collab. of course both of you came dope as fuck, xtreme malice had amazing flow and multies. nice structure, dope imagery and creativity. Illus u had some dope shit too. i especially loved you imagery and creativity, you flow was off the hook.

    leave feed.

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235689

  4. #4
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    Thanks it's much appreciated.

    I left feed.

  5. #5
    Wordbenders Jawn Raw's Avatar
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    Xtreme
    damn man actually i doubted you at first when you came to IJL but now that i read your verse I'm actually glad to see somin in there crew. I remember i said you reminded me of myself lol and yes i believe that you use nice multiples and you have a good stucture. very good emotion and imagery, nice vocabulary and well some of your words coulda been re worded but overall not bad.

    Illus
    Blah you drop dope all the time lol. your stucture is always good, vocabulary is pretty good. emotion and imagery is probably the best about your writtens, keep that up. somin i'd like tos ee more would be eternal multiples yo, i know its not your style but for most people once they get good wit them multiples it actually ups a lot of particles in they're spits. overall i believe this was a good collabo to rep IJL wit.

    wordness

    yall rtf on my Om's in the sig.

    1

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! waterflow's Avatar
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    that was hot nice structure and i really could flow wit it luv the collab just continue to be consitent

  7. #7
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    Dope shit, honestly.

    Ill leave decent feed when I have time.

    Good job tho.

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Ether Spitter's Avatar
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    Extreme came with a nice depiction of imagery and wordplay...im feelin tha whole thing...i couldnt find a favorite line cuz the piece was just too nice...but i got this:
    How his rival lies in the mist, much respect is shown
    Detest the tone, shallow fate, now he's left alone
    The hate brought them together, it was best to grow


    ...nice collab from both...tho Ill came with a choppy flow....n ya wordplay coulda been a lil better....overall ya story told was pretty nice...ya boi took it the hardest in this piece....shit that hit nice:
    Your personality was gore. Scabbed picked at, endless sores

    nice job to both...breathe easy

    igido
    He knows all and sees all...the creator of our creativity ...I follow The Divinity

  9. #9
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    Thanks for feed .....

    mucho appreciated.

  10. #10
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This was a really good piece, the concept was very original which is very rare on OM so i gotta give you both props for this piece its the best piece ive read for a while. The vocab in both pieces was used exceptionally well you didnt just use a bunch of big words for the sake of it or to make your shit look too complex you used it the right way. Both of your imagery was top notch both set the tone for a good descriptive verses about your enemies.
    I thought Malic verse was slightly better just because the flow was more nice and you mixed in a couple of multies/internals so your verse was slightly more complex. But Illus your verse was better imagery wise some of it was attention grabbing. So overall a real nice collabo couldnt hate on nothing.

    Return the feed on my new OM id appreciate it:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235527

  11. #11
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    ^ I Returned the fav ....

    and thanks for feed..

  12. #12
    ~~~{ :) E s c's Avatar
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    Word this was dope as hell extreme the multies where great you too illus seriously this is REALLY dope structure n flow of the whole thing was Dope so really well done ...Thumbs Up =)
    Move on , no irony here.

  13. #13
    El Pistolero Keyser's Avatar
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    I liked this OM, malice you had really good multi's in there, and a strong flow also very good structure, nice creativity and kept me reading and intrested, but your really good point was the multi's and the way each line followed the other with that consistency, good job...illus your verse was very strong also, really feeling your imagery and strong vocab, your flow might of been a little off now and then but really enjoyed reading it and good emotion, overall a really good collab here and good reading, keep it up & thx illus for feed you previously left earlier.

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! mcl's Avatar
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    you guys are of the chain together the flow in
    this piece was mazing i wa sdazeld by the first
    to lines of the second and the last of the first.

  15. #15
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    Thanks guys love the feed....

    good job Malice.

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