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Thread: Fighting For A Good Cause.

  1. #1
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
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    Fighting For A Good Cause.

    Consumed. Depression. Repression. Emotions.
    She stole away into the night, victimized heart of erosion,
    Fetal contortions, shook her world, she was religious… Blasphemy,
    Now she’s getting the shaft, pushed through the cracks…
    …Due to an addition to the family.
    She was told that it was “excited”. She’d be a big sister!
    But that proved wrong, and lead the cuts in her wrists further,
    They ignored her, and she had no one to talk to anymore,
    So she waltzed down the wrong path, but she adored this door,
    That led to another world, and more, she was happy every time…
    She would catch the slightest glimpse of his smile in the lunch line,
    But there was this one boy, who followed, under his breath. Cussing,
    She ignored him although she senses infatuation, but he meant nothing.




    He ran after the girl, began to scrawl on the wall, down the street,
    Struggling to follow, would she accept him, or call him a freak?
    Was he a freak? Would he ever have a chance with such a beauty?
    Or was she the freak? By seeking perfection, stuck up and snooty,
    But he loved this girl, he wanted her so bad, and stalked her,
    But why would she love him back, what did he have to offer?
    She wanted happiness, he wanted her… what a combination,
    But sadly, his compensation exceeded his determination.
    He knew what she wanted, he knew what she needed.
    She needed Derrick, if she was to stop bleeding,
    He wrote her a note that one day, confessing his love doubtfully,
    It read: “I want you to be happy, even if it has to be without me”
    She returned the note, and had etching in the bottom with a black pen,
    How she couldn’t be with him, she needed someone else to be happy again.

    He had opened the note, chocking on the pen smudged writing,
    It hurt, but this was his good cause, hell, this is why he was fighting,
    The plan had worked; his ideas unfolded how he had plotted,
    Because Jane was finally happy, and that’s all he ever wanted.


    I'll get the links tomorrow, i need to crash for school.

    Kk, thanks.
    MondoThugs.

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    Meta. Convicts

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  2. #2
    DATBOIP
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    I mean... wow...
    that was beautiful...
    really deep.
    you rhymed really weird, but all comes together as you read on.
    really... that was a masterpiece.
    i dont know what these cats talk about structure and build this and that.
    so i cant dissect your work like a pro.
    but from reading your lines... i dont know...
    wow... :yes:
    good stuff.

  3. #3
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    Fuck!!!!!!!!!! This Was Poetic Emmotional Rhythmic Mind Stimulating This Was All Of It!!!!!!!!!!!! I Must See More Of Your Work
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  4. #4
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins
    Carry with rhymes like that, 6 feet deep shit, tha propa
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    im speechless. your rhyme scheme was probably one of the best ive ever read. it was so smooth! the flow was perfect. you really out did it on this one bro. the emotion and essence of the story was there. you never got off topic and took a great approach on this. your standout feature was by far the rhyme scheme. it amazed me. dope drop man. please hit up the link in my sig. thanks!
    It's time to do the thing - that's word to ya wristwatch

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  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pharoah.'s Avatar
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    hit it up
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=237476

    nice rhyme scheme and flow was off the chain it was deep as fuck too

    dope drop damn man
    Open Mics


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    Poetry

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    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


    Quotes HOF


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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....

  7. #7
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
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    I feel so special and loved!

    now to get links!
    MondoThugs.

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    Meta. Convicts

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  8. #8
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
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    Last edited by Incineratedrose; October 3rd, 2005 at 06:47 PM
    MondoThugs.

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  9. #9
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
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    *fart* up.
    MondoThugs.

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