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Thread: ...Life In The Eyes Of...

  1. October 5th, 2005, 01:45 AM #1
    Cody Nash
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    Post ...Life In The Eyes Of...

    …Life In the Eyes Of…
    …Chapter I…


    I Say Goodnight::::::The Suicidal Young Man
    Dear to me is the one in the unknown. Far from me I miss…….…
    Sometimes I feel less than a man, not grown. Just one more kiss??
    Sick of the fights, sick of this…Suicidal Thoughts read my rights,
    Smile Upon the unborn children’s Bliss or turn out all the lights!!
    I’m blind As I Lose all of my sights…I wish I could just be alright.
    My life begins to fade. Like small kids saying they’re all tight……
    …………………………............….I smile upon them as I Say Goodnight.

    The Unhappy Father::::::Lost and Now I’m Found
    As I begin to pull the trigger, something takes my breath away,
    My kid walks in the room and says, “Dad! No, Not today”……
    Then I realized more important things are here, I guess I’ll stay,
    The ending of this mans life has to be held, I stuck it on delay…
    My constitutional thoughts are mere shadows of my life……....
    ………………………………….…………..They’re distraught
    Lost in the Cold world, Lost now found…..Now my last thought


    Story Starts Over::::::The Dying Old Man
    Stories told, today I seem to be getting Old…………
    My face so wrinkly I can make a new origami fold….
    Behold! Messages coming from me to you, contribute
    Distribute my whole entire life to you! No Dispute…
    My baby girl’s so cute, when she’s sick I got the cure
    I’ll watch over you since my time seems to be nearer,
    As I pass the torch, I watch it burn nice and brightly,
    Lessons still needed slightly; Watch you do rightly…
    My career as the father lost its last leaf on the clover,
    As you carry me on your shoulder, Story Starts Over.

    The Young Ones::::::You Told Me So
    Why do you question my authority? My intellect against your seniority?
    I need the Mad respect for me. Going to snap because of adult majority.
    Like physicals for football…I don’t think I’m going to handle this Bull.
    A Guy touching my balls is just not how I want to roll. Believe in soul..
    Schools unite as a whole…Mom and dad I love you guys…You know!!
    ...….I’ll go far in life…the story starts…I know cause You Told Me So

    This Piece Is based on other peoples lives and perspectives from people of different ages and completely different situations and problems...this is only part I to this story...part II will be here in this next month...Have fun reading this...leave good feed...and here's my links

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post3246891
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post3246901
    Last edited by Cody Nash; October 5th, 2005 at 01:53 AM Reason: Structure...
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  2. October 6th, 2005, 12:04 AM #2
    Cody Nash
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    Uppin.......Comments?
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  3. October 6th, 2005, 12:05 AM #3
    quills b
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    ya that was good and all but i just wasnt feeling it

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    yo bitches click here


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    CORRUPTED MINDZ
    BLACK DEATH

    OPEN MIC


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  4. October 6th, 2005, 07:26 AM #4
    The Vortex
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    uhm thing i diddnt like was the rhyme scheme.. and orhyming so many words in a row

    format was interesting...bad sum nice imagery vocab and wordplays
    interesting approach looking thru the eyes of others
    stort could maybe do with some excitement or shock for more impact

    stay up

    pz

    hit my new joint up

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=238276

    pz
    .................................................. ......................
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  5. October 6th, 2005, 11:33 PM #5
    Cody Nash
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    Upp Lets hear it......Comments
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  6. October 7th, 2005, 01:28 AM #6
    Cody Nash
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    Rise.....
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  7. October 7th, 2005, 02:08 AM #7
    Antonio Banderas
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    I'm surprised with peeps comments. I thought most of this was fire. I especially like the verse entitled:Story Starts Over::::::The Dying Old Man. The entire set up was performed and written very well. The structure caught my attention and reeled me in. Very well composed from start to finish...
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  8. October 8th, 2005, 01:11 AM #8
    Cody Nash
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    Uppin..........
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  9. October 8th, 2005, 05:12 PM #9
    Cody Nash
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    Uppin..................
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  10. October 12th, 2005, 11:49 PM #10
    Cody Nash
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    Upp! More Feed!
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  11. October 13th, 2005, 03:07 AM #11
    bannana clip
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    g, i aint trying 2 down nobody or look down or be on sum cocky shit, but dat sum def poetry jam shit, man u gota keep me awake wit yo shit fam, get sum excitement

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    i shoot first n ask questions later
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