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Thread: Save A Life

  1. #1
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    Save A Life

    ever since I’ve been unleash from my mothers womb,
    fire surrounded me, life trapped me in the darkest tomb.
    big wounds were being created by such amount of hate,
    from the people i thought loved me, but I received dark-fate.
    1000 of tears were being pour from my eye's late at nights,
    when there’s no lights, creatures in the shadows give me frights.
    I'm a cradle to the grave, trapped under the abyss in hell,
    why god didn't pick me up, when he knows that i have fell.
    feeling depressed night and day with so much agony of pain,
    grim reapers sharping their syke, ready for me to be slain.
    I’m like a rose that hasn't been bloomed yet-walls everywhere,
    trapped within my emotions-i can scream but no one will hear.
    angels flying around me, while the devil vulture is eating me alive,
    stung multiple times like I’m in the devils own personal bee hive.
    tears poured from my soul-it's not helping me, it only gets worse,
    while the devil is under my feet’s waiting for more to quince his thirst.
    back from school, still bruised where the jocks hit me and dry tears,
    from the insult i had to hear. Open the front door- surge of heavy fear
    emerges in my spine and my heart, voices yelling and punches throwing,
    dawn falls and night arises so let the pain begin again- a happy homecoming.

    i quickly go to my room, trying to forbid hearing all this cursing,
    my stomach gurgling-the devil ate my breakfast this morning.,
    now he's spoiled my dinner with all this hostility from my parents,
    every little thing is what they argue about-to me that's untransparent.
    I slam the door from behind- like it's going to block all of my life problems,
    praying?- I stopped that because god wouldn’t take the time to solve em.
    open up my drawer, where i have less clothes and my dinner to eat,
    i take a seat on my bed, with a sad look and broken up this bread by piece.
    Pen and Paper in hand- words in my head swarming and ready to come out,
    start from one word and then a sentence, then the next-more and more
    .....my words on the paper it sprouts

    I’ve always wonder where would poetry be spoken in this world,
    with beats that have your head noggin, and the stress it'll unfurls.
    Lyrics that's spoken through the heart like a pen that's attach to it,
    direct from your tongue-taste so sweet like licking a female's clit.
    where would there be "music" similar to this one?. I look and Look,
    from asking people on the streets to the point where i look in the book.
    Then I found it-guitars strumming along with the fingers and voice it follows,
    loud it is, but the lyrics that's spoken from their vocals is so angelic hollow.
    .
    .
    Up on stage saying lyrics and hands of the fans going side by side,
    free from the binds that this life holds him under-finally found pride,
    Like a reflection from a mirror, his fans smile he smile, cry he cries,
    if he haven't found poetry or this music, there's a 99% he go to the skies,
    where heaven is at, died by his own hands but he picked up a pen instead,
    fought devil with devil, and his life turned bright never gave up kept going ahead.

    *the last line "fought devil with devil" I meant he used rock and roll to fight the devil

    Yerp.



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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  2. #2
    Banned Eye`'s Avatar
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    Holy sweet jesus...i love you.

    amazing emotion and imagery, i can picture in my mind the devastation of the person in this story, wow. your concepts and feelings were heart-breaking, and your flow was incredible. this OM has caught my eye. im nominating this. nice job

    20 out of 10

  3. #3
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    Thanx Sus....Uppin for more...

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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  4. #4
    Newbie sozay's Avatar
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    Few can put the emotion into words that you were able to convey. You impressed me with your ability to put me front row into the events in your writing. Very well done. I will definitely look for more from you.

  5. #5
    .:The Topical Guru:. Trema's Avatar
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    ...

    This caught my eye, this piece had some deep emotion i was really feeling this. Your vocab was tight even though your text was too small i liked this piece. Your flow was on point your rhymes went together perfect. This was a very strong piece keep the good work going!
    written voices makes hidden noises

  6. #6
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  7. #7
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    dammmmmmm... thiz wuz some serious long shit
    hot flow U had along with it and i enjoyed reading it cuz it wa seal feelings u spoke out in the piece N U and nice rhymes along as well. seems like U went thru a tough time N life, alot of bullshit around U. nice OM

  8. #8
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  9. #9
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  10. #10
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    Uppo...........

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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  11. #11
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    Yo this was real tight son this shit got nothin bad to say it had a good everythin son keep it up

  12. #12
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    Thanks you, Uppin...........

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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  13. #13
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    dope,dope,dope,dope,dope oh yea and dope, amazing rhymes and flow, infact amazing evrything

  14. #14
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    Thank you, Uppin...

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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  15. #15
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    Yeah this was an very emotional piece
    i like the stopic you stay on point
    good structure and wordplay
    i could feel exactly where you was
    coming from
    Battle needs Closing

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    ThaChampIsHere#1-vs-Roota


    OPEN MICS

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    my audio shit

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    .

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