very long and point less gyrl, work on the way you write shit thats not the way to write a poem, no rhymes were together and i just wasnt feeling much from it, more like you were just speakin and writing it in a bullshit way improve on the way you write it, nice title just need to add some feeling type shit to it gyrl
1
Yea, the structure to this was terrible, and you obviously can't spell and come off very ignorant. "All" instead of "I'll"? and its Balla shot calla not "Shock" like i said u come off really ignorant, the only plus side was some decent emotion but i could barely feel it through the poor writing...elevate.
Laying face down in the mainstream.Po.Ethics.
i will try better next time i guess..
hey check dis out mista grim
it was good. nice topic nice structure u just need to try to rhyme more.
im messin this shit...
structure is annoying as fuck! no offense
Open Mics
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Poetry
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Last Word
Twizteds Bodyguards
Quotes HOF
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Originally Posted by Vamp.
loved da poem
A.L. MDG babbbbbbbby
Last edited by Big Boozy; October 9th, 2005 at 10:53 PM
Boozy Wit Up Wit Ya----and Mista Grim Baby Luv Ya..
nice peice felt the imagery creativity was fine......complexity was good cud of been better but good ...keep it up ill be looking for more peices from u....oh yeah and i also liked how the title matched the peice...and go hit up ma peice honestly its intitled Brotherly Love
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