In tha mood fa writin...lookin fa feed

[Real As It Get]

like tha continental divide my city split in-to sides/
essentially fly when my flow n instrumentals collide/
potentially high,stuck,skunk leave me mentally fried/
seen my parents eventually try attempting suicide/
enemies died bitches was showin thier feminine side/
defendin my side,racin to da top but beginnin wit strides/
been fulla pride plus a everday life of disappointments/
stress n despression,prescribed therapist appointments/
neva state the fake ,the hate for my state is apparent/
dont relate ta jake mistaked dey thank the state is my parents/
began spittin like camels,gettin away cuz im sick of da scandels/
grippin dem handles,phienes take hits get em trippin off hand fulls/
weed in tha swisha,unconsistently leavin tha picture/
completing tha mixture, cant believe tha speed of da pitcher/
Ive acknowledged my knowledge,neva abolished dreams of college/
gotta get paper greener than olives in between tha seams in my wallet/

Let me get some Feedback

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=244827
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=237849&page=2

[TheCrunkKing]

the struture was decent the flow was good, decent vocab

Best lines
seen my parents eventually try attempting suicide/
enemies died bitches was showin thier feminine side/

been fulla pride plus a everday life of disappointments/
stress n despression,prescribed therapist appointments/


{Leave feed on my OM, called to cocky}

[Mic D]

Blah.........a whole bunch of rhyming wordz wit some multies thrown in...wtf????....... looks like a good uh.......exercise at rhyming......but thats it..... some of the lines are horridly worded.........like one that MORON.... Crunk quoted....<----Im beginning to think Crunk is the biggest Idiot on the board.....but this lines what Im talkin bout

"seen my parents eventually try attempting suicide"

^u 'seen'...<---past tense......'eventually'.....<---indicating future ......'attempting'....<---present tense.......... makes shit just sound stupid

[Baron Mynd]

^ Rofl.

I thought this was pretty cool, the kid has potential. The scheme and multis are in place, the flow worjked well for me too up until that last line.. I didnt think this was bad at all. Props bro.

Keep writing.

[Epsilon]

This was actually a pretty nice piece. I didnt think it would be any good when I first looked at it but you impressed me. The lyrics werent amazing but they were good enough for this kinda piece. The vocab was nice. You had multis like crazy. I especially liked that. The flow was on point throughout the verse.

Fav. Lines:
"like tha continental divide my city split in-to sides/
essentially fly when my flow n instrumentals collide/
potentially high,stuck,skunk leave me mentally fried/
seen my parents eventually try attempting suicide/
enemies died bitches was showin thier feminine side/
defendin my side,racin to da top but beginnin wit strides"

Basically I was feelin all of these bars. Good opener to an overall nice piece. 8/10
Keep droppin and stay up

[warchild]

I liked the verse nothing outstanding but nothing wack. The concept well it wasnt really an all out concept but you tried to do something deep which i can appreciate. The vocab was used well didnt overuse it which i felt that you might have so i was happy with that. Your imagery went well with the vocab descriptive could of been more graphic to draw people into your piece so they feel what your saying more and can feel what you say. The flow was weak at the beggining but then you started adding in the multies so it gave the piece more complexity so overall it was a good read but next time you write try and think of a concept or a story type piece so we can see how you write topical pieces.
Can you return the feed on my OM id appreciate it:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245014

[Real As It Get]

good lookin fa tha feed

[EyeBite]

flow was good..smooth...struuctre was good...rhymes were alos good...topic was cool, i likeed it........ vocab was aiight..same with complexity.......multies were aiight....overall this was aiight......8.5/10..keep elevating and keep it up.....peace...

[jay one]

^ Rofl.

I thought this was pretty cool, the kid has potential. The scheme and multis are in place, the flow worjked well for me too up until that last line.. I didnt think this was bad at all. Props bro.

Keep writing.

word. this is what i was gonna say

[Mistral]

Needs legit title.