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Thread: liein cuffed, runned down, sittin strapped, wit da safety off

  1. #1

    liein cuffed, runned down, sittin strapped, wit da safety off

    i shatter souls as i launch your corpse in the manifold of a catapult
    you thrive off my street anecdotes like fiends that feel that need to overdose
    i'm your life's chosen course, listen: my prose is so discourse it will end earth's existence
    i AM the worst, one worthy of a DEATH worse then jesus of nazareth's
    skills so intense, like the volts blasphemests sense off an electrical fence
    i split DENSE unstable elements atomically, and comically have you look like SEDIMENTS, anatomically [nuclear explosion]
    fuck, ya'll thinkin illogically, wantin to battle me ill shatter your teeth like a cavity
    don't flatter me, tell your bitch to get a new saddle for when i straddle her, ill piss on your fam till i bust my bladder
    call me the mad hatter gettin props on the net, gun cocked, still no respect? yall should try n get me blocked
    when someone get me shot, cops gonna chalk a huge oval round where i used to hang my COCK

  2. #2
    .
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    Alrite, nice vocab...flow was decent..the rhyming was there

    Iunno what the hell is up with the title...but hey whatever works

    The story itself was a little...iunno what the word is...but keep elevatin duke..you know

    6/10



    Hit up the link in my sig...the OM
    Yadadamean?

  3. #3

  4. #4
    Newbie M6teen's Avatar
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    i loved how this built up energy and flowed along so easily...good shyt for a keyed up dose of dope

  5. #5
    awesome job here man, I think this was really good, keep it up, i like the choice of words you have in there and stuff too...

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  6. #6
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    Ps....hit up the link in my sig or click this >> http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=259184
    Yadadamean?

  7. #7
    thanks for all the feedback

    keep it comin

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! pyro2472's Avatar
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    the vocab to me was really good the flow and the way it was built was also really good nice peice overall i give it 8/10
    leave feed on my om what happens next

  9. #9
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    i liked this..topic was interesting and different pretty creatvie...could have been a bit longer thoguh felt like there could have been more to this and impriove ya vocab and complexity.....rhymes were good..multies were iight..flow was iight..stucttre was ok too.......overall this was good drop..keep at it.peace

  10. #10
    let's keep it comin, im not done with this one just yet

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  11. #11
    uppin

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  12. #12
    Banned Percept's Avatar
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    sick multies, was a little stretched at points, vocabulary was pretttttttttttttttty dayum good at times, flow was on point, but at some places it feel off because you forced so many multies. try not to force as many. also, make it longer. good read peace

  13. #13
    what are multies?

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  14. #14
    i really don't know, n everyone keeps sayin the word, plus i wanna improve on that

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  15. #15
    Banned Percept's Avatar
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    inner rhymes like

    yo my flow is a show
    you hoes will be like whoa, bro


    word, the italicez ones are multies, but dont use them like that, try and make it a bigger word

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