No Presents

[DevilOG]

Many presents under the tree,wondering which ones where for me
Moma said i wasnt aloud to see, until every1 came from the family
Evry1 sitting ready to sing,me watching basketball rockets n yao ming
Me n my cousins playing with a string,wonderin wat santa was gonna bring

My turn to open the presents i was scaredsomething happened it was rare
Until that moment i wasnt aware, all the presents 4 me warnt there
Sitting there being angry and sad, wondering if i had been bad
I think i was a really good boy, But y is it i didnt have any toys?

Sitting under the tree with mom and she was talking to me
Said sorry honey, santa said that he didnt have any money
Sitting with fear,with sad tears wondering if santa was here
But momy said it will all be better Christmas Next Year

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...64#post3703364
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...73#post3703373

[DevilOG]

FeedBack Plz

[DevilOG]

Feed

[Cinematic.]

To Short....will lwave feed soon

[DevilOG]

Stfu

[CoNfusedProphet]

it wasnt bad.. sad story.. it was short but i got the message

[Tae Profit]

i dont know if u was tryin to be funny or dramatic but the vocab was weak and the flow was elementary - but it was cool. Ya structure was top notch but you didnt work the concept as good as u could have

[ak-mixa]

devil og..........for and open mic u coulda did betta homie and u stayed on topic......imagery was ya strongest point in dis open mic and it was good and gave me da feeling of being there and actually seeing all of dat stuff happen......ya open mic is too short homie.......lil basic like da otha guys said but its not bad u jus should add more and up ya vocab up a lot more instead of using common words and it will make ya piece a lot nicer and doper and i liked it and give it a 5/5 cause i know u can do betta cmon now man.....i felt a little emotion......dunno but it seemed kinda rushed though but good job...jus keep elevating...pz.