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Thread: The Murder of my Baby Girl

  1. #1
    ~*~ShAwnDa~*~
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    The Murder of my Baby Girl

    The Murder of my Babygirl
    just a year ago my babygirl took her last breaths
    the day of her birth i assisted her in taking her last steps
    that same night i sat patiently and watched her go to sleep
    kissed her on the cheek then covered her head with a bed sheet
    but before i smuggled her...took the sheet off and uncovered her
    took her in my arms...held her close and cuddled her
    whispered in her ear that i loved her but i had to let her go
    but for her to be good in heaven or the lord would let me know
    kissed her once more...then laid her back in the bed
    took the sheet, covered her head...soon my baby was pronounced dead
    put my head on her tiny chest, for a heartbeat was not felt
    at that moment i wanted to take the bedsheet and suffocate my own self
    couldnt do that, kus right then the nurse came through the door
    looked at the baby, started screaming, looked at me and creamed some more
    called the doctors in, they said that there was nothing they could do
    her throat was clogged with hazordous chemicals and air passage couldnt get through
    i said thanks...they left the room as i held my child in my arms
    looked in her eyes which never opened but yet could still see harm
    weeks passed..we held a funeral...i cried like never before
    how could i kill the only thing i ever truly did adore
    looked at her grave...as she lay there i could feel her hate for me
    but its too late to save her kus shes six feet up under me
    thought about the saying that whatever is meant to be will be
    and she was destined to go to heaven....thats why i named her destiny



    Last edited by killamami1; December 30th, 2005 at 03:01 PM

  2. #2
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    yo a strange topic 2 pick but u did a gd job at it. keep workin on ya flow and rhythm as it can b improved. average drop. keep workin@it

  3. #3
    The Solution Gifted Signs's Avatar
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    nice drop the rhyme scheme needs work but a very touching concept it was field with alot of feeling and I can't say I know how it feels but if I lost my baby girl I wouldn't know what I would do also it will get close cause there are no links to any other OM's
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  4. #4
    ~*~ShAwnDa~*~
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    yea there are gifted...but thanx for ya feed

  5. #5
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    i thought it was tight
    but i couldnt find alot of rhymes tho you should work on that a lil
    but overall i thoguth it was cool the topic was one i never saw yet
    so good job 8/10

  6. #6
      D.V.R.a.k.a.M.C.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gifted Signs
    nice drop the rhyme scheme needs work but a very touching concept it was field with alot of feeling and I can't say I know how it feels but if I lost my baby girl I wouldn't know what I would do also it will get close cause there are no links to any other OM's
    I agree with what you said gifted.

    This was an interesting piece tho. You should do more parts. Tell about how life is with out the child and what not.Also, tell why you killed the baby, I'd like to know why .This was pretty creative. Keep up the good work.

    - Miss Clitoria Cummings
    "D.V.R.a.k.a.M.C. is no longer here and has given up account"

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    aaw sum real deep shiit u got ther! feelin it fa real...
    itz fukin sad wen u go fru dat kinda shiit.. nice drop dow!
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  8. #8
    ~*~ShAwnDa~*~
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    thanx uppin

  9. #9
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    Nice shit- Deep Emotion Rythm scheme was a bit choppy- But everything else clicked tha flow wordplay concept nice drop and it was a soild emotional it could have been a short story also nice piece -

    ~Uno~

  10. #10
    ~*~ShAwnDa~*~
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    thank you and nice rec man!!! wanna trade??

  11. #11
    ~*~ShAwnDa~*~
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    hey yall im bout ta ta be out for a few but dont sleep on it iight

  12. #12
    ~*~ShAwnDa~*~
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    uppin

  13. #13
    ~*~ShAwnDa~*~
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    thanks.....dont sleep....uppin

  14. #14
    Baby-Smile'z
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    Sugga dis shit good reminds me of my Sister Nikol

  15. #15
    ~*~ShAwnDa~*~
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    thanx smilez lylas...uppin!!!

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