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Thread: The Letter.

  1. January 14th, 2006, 11:59 AM #1
    Po'
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    The Letter.

    The Letter.


    Dear students of the Holocaust,


    Hello. My name is Chris, at 14, that’s no way to be living..
    And that a man is treated by color..
    ..........................Hence, progressing down to religion..
    Sit in anguish, taken from home. Watching the guard stroll..
    Announcing theres food. Handing down an empty dog bowl..
    Depression surrounding Auschwitz, and nobody with money..
    Getting to sleep on the floor, that only if lucky..
    Not knowing the duty or job there. People figured a slave..
    Avoiding the ovens, instead ordered to dig your own grave..
    Jews, Homos, and Gypsies murdered. The air was polluted..
    Not only was it grownups. But kids also included..
    These people were sick. And still are. Nobody was thrilled..
    Having a slice of bread to consume. But no stomach to fill..
    Horrifying nights, and constant cry’s. A weeping willow..
    Having a kink in your neck..
    ..........................Using your fathers corpse as a pillow..
    I guess believing a something. Theres a price to pay..
    As I know this from experience. And loved ones away..
    Never being the same, no happiness, nor love, in or sight..
    Knowing so much about this event. This was my life..
    So I’ll wrap it up, in tears. As I finish my letter..
    Im 70 years old. And forgetful..
    ............................But this will be in my mind..

    ......Forever..
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  2. January 14th, 2006, 12:00 PM #2
    Po'
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    Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...35#post3803535
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post3804482
    Last edited by Po'; January 14th, 2006 at 03:28 PM
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  3. January 14th, 2006, 12:20 PM #3
    topher
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    This is kind of awkward,cause my name is chris and im 14.Wel never mind,lol.
    I like your atyle the way you use .....,because im always into looking at different styles other than regular ones that everyone else ueses.Your storyline was nice.
    The multies you used were good as well,because your using more than 2 syllables at times,which is something i barely see.I've seen alot of similiar open mics with a concept of a letter,but this one was pretty good from the rest.I kid of have a feeling of the way it ended but i guess i didnt.It was similiar but not exactly the same.The way you ended it and started it was nice.Over all a good piece.


    Pleas leave feedback on the open mic: Different Direction.

    Pz.
    hurterrybody.
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  4. January 14th, 2006, 12:22 PM #4
    Po'
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    Word.

    Lol, my names Chris. I wrote this for a topical battle in FL so I figured Id drop it here for fun, no REAL effort really.

    Thanks.
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  5. January 14th, 2006, 02:45 PM #5
    FLOWMASTER
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    werd to refugee- and po i liked everything about this bacically-u had some nice stuff everything fit good as well--
    so all in all it was dope--
    nice drop--can u plz check my OM
    link is in sig as well

    ~1~

    pz

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  6. January 14th, 2006, 03:31 PM #6
    Po'
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    Thanks.
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  7. January 14th, 2006, 04:39 PM #7
    A.O.D
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    Avoiding the ovens, instead ordered to dig your own grave..
    Jews, Homos, and Gypsies murdered. The air was polluted..
    Not only was it grownups. But kids also included..
    ^My favorite line, I've actually been to the holocaust museum in Washington D.C., depressing stuff, this most def captured some memories of letters and stuff that was at the museum. Even though you say you didn't try, it was a wonderful read...
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
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  8. January 14th, 2006, 04:50 PM #8
    Po'
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    Thanks alot man.
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  9. January 14th, 2006, 04:55 PM #9
    FLOWMASTER
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    hey po can u plz leev some feed on my OM the dream of hal roberts--its in my sig

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  10. January 14th, 2006, 04:55 PM #10
    Po'
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    Will do.
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  11. January 14th, 2006, 10:19 PM #11
    Po'
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    Up.
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  12. January 14th, 2006, 10:38 PM #12
    Fracture
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    This piece wasnt bad. It was kind of short, but you had a good use of multis and anf flow. Your approach was different, which is good to see. I see alot of potential here, keep it up.

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...55#post3806855
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  13. January 14th, 2006, 10:51 PM #13
    EyeBite
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    this was pretty good.....
    strucutre was really good...nice and even
    flow was smooth made it an easy read...
    vocab was iight...complex in placews..simple in otherz
    rhymes were good..topic was pretty cool...
    this was interesting to read..and i liked it
    overall this was really good..keep it up...peace-
    check out my peice..link(s) in sig..hit on up..thanks
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  14. January 15th, 2006, 01:37 AM #14
    Po'
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    Alright, thanks.
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  15. January 15th, 2006, 01:45 AM #15
    FLOWMASTER
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    cmon po will u plz drop some feed on my open mic...rtf

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