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Thread: 6th Sense...

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! A.O.D's Avatar
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    6th Sense...

    I sat there w/ a straight gaze//
    Blood everywhere I was amazed//
    The dim lighting only showed my disgrace //
    Feeling around the floor solemnly feeling misplaced//
    My racing heart; beat through my bare chest//
    As I looked down and wondered; I wasn't dressed//
    I grabbed a robe that was laying near by//
    And rapped myself up, as I began to cry//
    Suddenly a noise crept through the back//
    I climbed into the closet; curled up silent waiting for an attack//
    Searching through my mind, I couldn't depict what had happened the nights before//
    Whose blood was I wearing? And who was on the other side of this door?//

    Voices whispered of death and disguise//
    “Hide the body” that would be wise//
    My ear was pressed firmly to the dark of night//
    Ready and willing to hear, what was out of sight//
    Screeching noises appeared as they dragged the body away//
    Buried in the backyard? Left to Decay?//
    Where were the cops? How long did I have to hide?//
    I was disturbed about who was it that could have died//
    When the house was empty I crept out of my hiding place//
    Only to discover a hole in the side of my face//
    The horror struck in, how could this be?//
    The person that died that night was me!?//



    Links
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=264790
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=264711
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
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  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! A.O.D's Avatar
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    Sleeping is no good, please have a monster
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
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  3. #3
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    a nice drop
    flow kk
    struture cool
    vocab sweet
    rhythm awesome
    keep@it

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    Shit Happens
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  4. #4
    T.P.H
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    yo not bad homie

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by T.P.H
    yo not bad homie
    u need 2 comment on flow,rhythm,structure or u will get this thread closed

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    Shit Happens
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  6. #6
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    upping.......
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  7. #7
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    *shoves her page up*



    Please...read me...I need feedback....




    *blink*

    Ok, I'll give a cookie....
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  8. #8
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    .....
    thyis piece was ok okay...your flow was very basic. choppy as well. the structure was okay, but the concept was not that clear, vocab was fine,and you had a good topic also but the piece was str8.........4/10.......keep writtin fams......

    WoRD^peep my OM in my sig....

  9. #9
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    Thank you, I really do appreciate honest feedback!


    *THROWS YOU A COOKIE AS PROMISED LOL*
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