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Thread: The Hours Passed By..

  1. #1
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    The Hours Passed By..

    The Hours Passed By...

    The Hours passed by, a fleet, confused crowd desired,
    With wafture of blown garments, sharp as knife, bright as fire
    Light, light of foot and laughing, morning-browed higher,
    And where they'd trot the grass: green, the jonquil and the briar
    Thrilled into jocund life, the dreaming dungeon dells,
    Waked to a morrice chime of broken glass and jostled bells
    They spake, and roused the mused soul that dwells,
    In dust, or snow, smiling, shaped new heavens and hells
    Dethroned old gods, and made blind beggars kings,
    God is the plumed Thought that soars and sings

    The Hours passed by, with veiled eyes were endowed,
    To breathing dusk and arrowy moonlight vowed
    Of dream, and parted lips that scarce suspire,
    South wind and shadowy grove and murmuring lyre
    Swaying they moved, as drowsed of wizard spells,
    Were tranced with sight of recent miracles that retell
    And yet they trembled, a breeze down their folded wings,
    Quivered the hint of sweet scent, withholden things

    The Hours passed by, through huddled cities loud,
    With witless hate and stale with stinking mire gave sound
    So cowled monks might march with bier and shroud,
    Down streets plague-spotted toward the rich oils around
    Very strange lilies bloomed in lightless cells,
    And passionate spirits open, burst their clayey shells
    And sang the stricken hope, that bleeds and clings,
    Earth's bruised heart beat, in the throbbing strings

    The Hours passed by, the stumbling hours and cowed,
    Uncertain, prone to tears and childish sounds formed dark clouds
    The feeble shapes that any chance perfoems expells,
    Their wisdom useless, lacking the lust blood that swells
    The tensed vein: the hot, swift tide that stings,
    With life. Ah, wise! but naked to the arm slings
    And youth, we dallied by the bubble, babbling wells,
    Where April pured all her lyrics to secret tells
    And son, we sped our bold intel imaginings,
    As far as the red planet orbits with triple rings
    Life! Love! I followed, and followed thee,
    There waits one person to end my journey, and that is me.

  2. #2
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    Last edited by Nostradomus.; February 7th, 2006 at 04:16 PM

  3. #3
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    Pee pee.

  4. #4
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    great job nossio, good structure, and this was told well, executed carefully with thought,, the first two stanzas were reeally doope, and i was like, whoa, this is almost legends.... but then in the end i felt it got a little worse, but stil it was good, the scheme got a little rough in the end, but the twist at the end was wroth the read

    good job

    peep Slipping (Hold On!)

  5. #5
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    Thanks man, bump. I'll feed in a sec bro.

  6. #6
    J.Christ
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    Thrilled into jocund life, the dreaming dungeon dells,
    Waked to a morrice chime of broken glass and jostled bells
    The fucc are you talking about ?

    This thread im not gettin hip to it. your on some wanna be shakesphere/ Nas shit, and that im not feelin. Words that you tried to play just aint hit hard enough in my point of view and thats something you need to work on Serious!!
    The structure was nice though and thats about the only thing other than that work on ya A-game son.

  7. #7
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    WTF? You fucking faggot. Open Mic isnt about "yo nigga i'll bussa cap in yo crew, i'll slay you and 4 of you"..this is about spoken word and how well you can use poetry in a rhythmic notion. Shut your fucking mouth you wack peice of shit. Get 2x OM HoF and then tell me my shit is wack, stupid fuck.

  8. #8
    J.Christ
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    for 3, 535 post you should be hot .

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Well, ive looked at many of your pieces and you carry great imagery in each one. this one is jus the same. i think you got a great stlye to your OM's. Good structure Flowed Beautifully. good topic. hit mine up with some feed please.. ive only just started OM's n would like a Dope om righter to give me some pointers. thanks. good job.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...39#post3928739
    Last edited by Marshall; February 7th, 2006 at 06:56 PM

  10. #10
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marshall
    Well, ive looked at many of your pieces and you carry great imagery in each one. this one is jus the same. i think you got a great stlye to your OM's. Good structure Flowed Beautifully. good topic. hit mine up with some feed please.. ive only just started OM's n would like a Dope om righter to give me some pointers. thanks. good job.
    Thanks alot man, I really appreciate it. I'll be glad to leave feed on your OM. I'll do it soon.

  11. #11
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    up.

  12. #12
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    gay.

  13. #13
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    Seriously? People dont expect me to hit up your OM's if you dont hit this up. Fuckfaces.

  14. #14
    ~~~{ :) E s c's Avatar
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    Well this was ok, but hard to follow sometimes, in my eyes it came across as you trying to be smarter than you really are and you came across as arrogant.

    The Hours passed by, a fleet, confused crowd desired,
    With wafture of blown garments, sharp as knife, bright as fire
    Light, light of foot and laughing, morning-browed higher,
    And where they'd trot the grass: green, the jonquil and the briar
    Thrilled into jocund life, the dreaming dungeon dells,
    Waked to a morrice chime of broken glass and jostled bells
    They spake, and roused the mused soul that dwells,
    In dust, or snow, smiling, shaped new heavens and hells
    Dethroned old gods, and made blind beggars kings,
    God is the plumed Thought that soars and sings
    The first paragraph is a good example off this ... mabye your really smart but craming all the stuff in makes it seem far to forced.

    The rest was pretty good such as flow and stuff, but this aspect really dragged it down for me.

    And...

    Get 2x OM HoF and then tell me my shit is wack, stupid fuck.
    Don't kid yourself.
    Move on , no irony here.

  15. #15
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    Rabe where were you in the HoF? Hmm.....do I not see your name there or is it just me? Anyways, I appreciate the feed because thats my second OM in a month and a half and I know I'm a little rusty. But dont tell me to not kid myself when I know I've been in the HoF twice. We'll see who gets eliminated in SS first.

    EDIT: And I see you dont understand the aspects of speaking word when it comes to Open Mics. You're probably more experienced than I am, but I know I improved so much, and thats why I'm in the HoF. You dont understand the message I'm sending out? Then dont leave feed at all. And dont get mad when I tell you I dont want to do a stupid collab with you. People want to collab with me so they can get a free ticket to the HoF to make them look like superstars. Pz.
    Last edited by Nostradomus.; February 8th, 2006 at 03:43 PM

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