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Thread: look death in the eyes

  1. #1
    Aged Like Fine Wine
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    look death in the eyes

    Im lookin up to the sky lookin for gods help...
    I dont understand why i cant do this by myself...
    Panic Kicking In...2 choices should I go left or right...
    My mind Running around in circles...why did I try to be a hero in the strife...
    *BANG* layed out...left for Just another satistic...
    tryed to be a thug, but thugs are just Sadistic...
    I wasent letting myself Fall into an eternal sleep...
    I wouldn't give in...I'll do anything...just my life let me keep...
    Then Death came with a Proposition...A game of chess...
    If I lose I die if I win im still livin...i did my best...
    He sitting Across from me carefree while im stressing out...
    this is the game for my life...i feel like im on the bottom like some tile grout...
    Hes playin with my mind...making me lose focus on my goal...
    Talking bout my past the people i left behind,sayin dead & only 20 years old...
    Braggin say that never before has he lost a game...
    no matter how hard i try i wont prevail and his record stays the same...
    but I dont want to die...i have a choice...
    My life to him dosent mean anything...if i lose he'll rejoice...
    Check after check...Block after block...my pieces are gettin chiped off...
    its not looking good for me so in desperation I hop up and started runnin off...
    the reaper stops me... i look in his eyes...and see my own death...
    See me lying in a casket...good bye...now im layed to rest...


    ...Game Over...


    Give me feed


    2 links
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=272437
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=272437
    Last edited by GrimmyReaps; February 18th, 2006 at 12:18 PM

  2. #2
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    yeah fa real i did enjoy readin it... it was straight & short... cudda been better if it was slightly longer.. but its cool... ur wordin was good, stil u can improve on that, & ur vocab.. but yeah its good 2 see some1 like u is in DLL! niice shiit hun...1
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  3. #3
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    & if its aiite can u check out any of my o.ms & leave feed...stay up & keep writing cah i wanna see that improvement!......tc1
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  4. #4
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    iight wording and Vocab i need to work on ok then...
    thats the longest verse i ever wrote and the first of that kind...but ok

    i gotta rep for DLL...i post on one thanks for the feed

  5. #5
    Shipoopi A Pimp Named Saucy's Avatar
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    Decent tho you didnt use vocab you had like basic wording.....and would be alil better with mutis tho your emotion was ehhhh tho your concept of thought in your choice of story was alright.....just stay up and pz

  6. #6
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    iight tks for the feed...Uppin...

  7. #7
    You are the selfish one! CrosT Over's Avatar
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    GRIMREAPA, nice flow i like the way it all came together, vocab could have been a little stronger but i did like the word usage,

    "I wasent letting myself Fall into an eternal sleep...
    I wouldn't give in...I'll do anything...just my life let me keep...
    Then Death came with a Proposition...A game of chess...
    If I lose I die if I win im still livin...i did my best..."

    dope lyrics right there keep elevating and practicing
    I EMBRACED THE DARK SIDE WHEN YOU STOLE MY SON

  8. #8
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    tks keep givin feed leave good feed to keep doin that

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! six milez's Avatar
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    that had an interesting story line. keep shit like that coming.. i love the susspense it made the whole thing very interesting.
    HITMAN a.k.a. ASSASIN

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  10. #10
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    ok i see what you mean... im not used to this whole text stuff ya know?
    im just drop my shit n' let every body judge me...no big deal its just tha net

    now: ur flow was consitant i realy liked what ur talken about
    *BANG* layed out...left for Just another satistic...
    tryed to be a thug, but thugs are just Sadistic...
    that was a nice line there were many others that were good but thats my fav.

  11. #11
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    yea differently i neva rele saw it coming...playing chess wid da reaper..like that

    yea agree with tha rest really jus work on vocab

    nice piece tho man liked it...i dont rele agree it should b longer... it got to the point..NICE

    PEACE OUT
    please drop me some feed on this piece


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    peace

  12. #12
    Aged Like Fine Wine
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    iight yall keep the feed comin...im likin that your likin it i thought i tryd to hard but i guess it iight...ill work on that vocab and drop another on in a while ok...yep yep...

  13. #13
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    we should collab.. what u say grim?
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  14. #14
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    just me and you...iight when you want me to write 2 day...if so ill prob have it done by 2marrow...and bout what...tell me cuz im down

  15. #15
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    nah this ent the crew collab.. this next shiit.. & we do it w/e i'll hit u up wit tha details later on.. i'll pm ya aiite hun......stay up...
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

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