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Thread: Troubled Life ( New Version )

  1. #1
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    Troubled Life ( New Version )

    [ Hook / Chorus ]
    Sometimes I feel like stabbin myself with a knife
    What the hell am I supposed to do wit this Troubled Life
    I thought I was strong, but somethin' inside me went wrong
    Times up, ive been feelin this way for too long

    [ J.J ]
    I see a few things wrong with the way that im livin
    Cuz like Joe Budden I just needa 2nd opinion
    Ever since my uncle died I dont know whats real anymore
    Things changed since then i dont know how to feel anymore
    Back then I was gifted, my spirits lifted
    Now people dont even know that I ever existed, Life's twisted
    I cant sleep anymore there aint ever time for restin
    I gotta go around the hood askin people for their suggestions
    To me its heavy, but to you it may seem petty
    Lets continue talkin I know u aint tired of me already
    I used to be all happy and grateful
    But not anymore, now im violent and hateful
    But this wasnt it, life got even worse
    My grandmother died, what the fuck was this a curse!?
    That was it I stress built up, and I became a criminal
    I committed murders 1 by 1, it was subliminal
    I got caught and went to jail for life
    Too bad I never got to have kids or a wife
    Day after day I became more sick of the place
    Life in jail, damn im escaping if thats the case
    Thats what I did, I had no other choice
    I sat down for a minute, thought for a minute and rejoiced
    Keep this a secret or u might regret it
    Anxiety might try to take over you, but dont let it
    I still just dont know how to feel anymore
    But like I said, I dont know whats real anymore

    [ Hook / Chorus ]
    Sometimes I feel like stabbin myself with a knife
    What the hell am I supposed to do wit this Troubled Life
    I thought I was strong, but somethin' inside me went wrong
    Times up, ive been feelin this way for too long
    Last edited by J.J; March 16th, 2006 at 04:14 PM Reason: spelling mistakes

  2. #2

  3. #3
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    uppin...

  4. #4
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    hmmmmmmmmm,This was good,I see alot of potential,you stuck to the topic well,and I sensed that there was real emotion in this piece,and that is what I personally like to see,so yea this was pretty good.

  5. #5
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    aight thanx for the feed yo..uppin for more

  6. #6
    Wow, that was pretty awesome.... i liked the flow of the rap but you need to work on your vocab a bit.... lol god wat am i saying. i feel like a hypocrit... i have the same problem lol... im a newb and all so watever. ya dont have to listen to me but anways i did like this. talent


    c ya

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  7. #7
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    pretty good drop...I have to say that u have come sum ways and i see the elevation with the rhymes and vocab...flow was pretty nice and structure was pretty good as well...topic was pretty common but this was pretty good....overall this was a nice read..keep it up....

  8. #8
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    nice thanx yo, i appreciate the great feed, uppin for more, and yeah i know ive elevated alot

  9. #9
    Yo its good and i think its a pretty hot topic with alot of people

  10. #10
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    uppin...

  11. #11
    r!PpER
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    nice verse, i felt it, u had good vocabs, structure and flow were nice too, i think u got some potential

  12. #12
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    nice, thanx...pretty good for a 13 year old huh lol uppin...

  13. #13
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    Decent drop thanks for leave'n feed on my OM frist of all

    Stayed on topic well good vocab some lines semed alittle forced thoe
    have good potencial And i have treibell spelling nice drop stay up

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Seneka's Avatar
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    Hey, it's a pretty good song in my opinion (and it seems everyone who's critiqued this song as well). Up your rhymin skills a bit and you should be really good on here tearing it all up. Oh and If possible, critique my song would you, just click on it in my sig.
    Got Personality?

  15. #15
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    ok my last up, please dont sleep on this, keep leaving feed plz!!

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