Suicide Letter

[AngelHaze]

^^^^ okay not detailed but thanks i guess uppin

[Cap Com]

meh it was ok needs to be more descriptive and have bigger words to give and idea of whats going on.

[Steven William]

okay heres my breakdown on this:
the structer was on and off well only one part was off it was stretched but other than that it was good structerwise, the flow was on and off the begining was the part i felt was a lil off, the vocab was pretty good, the wordplay was there in and out, overall it was a nice lil read keep it up
peace

wow kid, your an idiot. Theres not such thing as STRUCTURE, it's something some idiot made up and decided all the lines had to be align and fit in a little square. But, no matter how they are aligned it makes no fucking difference how good the verse is, or changes the flow. Structure also can't be stretched, only a LINE can be stretched and that would mean it throws off the FLOW. Your bad leave now.

[AngelHaze]

okay uppin 4 closure

[Reflexion]

This is my letter to let you all know
How far I’m actually willing to go
Everyday my life is becoming exceedingly hard
Disregard to discard feelings that leave me permanently scarred

really dope way to start this i can tell from here its a dope piece

I’m terrified to exhale but I’m more afraid to inhale
Becoming derailed by lives open trails
I tried to withstand and show love to myself
Deeper feelings on the inside blinded by humility and stealth

dope u stayed on tha topic an its flows nicely

misery is my only wound cuts are wide filled with gloom
Tragedy struck and left me stranded the heavens granted I was doomed
What used to formulate laughter now intrigued anger
Destruction assimilation first hand now enticed danger

nice and dope i liked this part it was really good u keep on topic here to tha flow wa snot as good as it couldve been but still pretty good

The pits of hell are beckoning screaming come to me
This pain and devastation no happy moments all I knew was misery.
The feeling of its gentle grasp composes a heavenly vibe
Depression deeply defying the laws of gravity gives a certain rise

this was a real nice part to kept it on topic flow was well an i can feel tha emotion on this to

I tried to lope away from it but my legs wouldn’t progress
Conflicted with spiritual poverty my soul was overstressed
Tolerance until my soul became overburdened mediocre feeble minded discretions.
Oblivious concerns minor rejection to any thought of murder or self destruction

ok not great for some reason this felt off but yet still good

on my minds thought collection
So I die daily as I try to survive
Depression has taken over my soul can’t be revived
I started with a dream but it became hope
I started with a knife and ended with this rope.

DOPE fukin way to end it i love tha last line

well this piece was pretty dope not HOF yet but tha topic was eh alot of ppl write on this but ur stood out i liked this drop keep elevating

[AngelHaze]

ok thanks uppin