need more feedback
need more feedback
The Rise And Fall Will Be My Death
So As I Gasp For My Last Breath
Put the Gage To My Chest
i Gulp a Heep of Salayva In Distess
Sound Of The Gun Cocked Wat's Next
*Bang*
Bullet Incarnates His Soul
Burinin His Skin His Heart Turned Cold
Dead In a Matter of Secounds
MIND AND THE PEN
Is the Greatest Weapon
So Dont Use Gunz or Knives
Do it If u Dont wanna Live a Life
Made By Me
a yo black this OM was pretty good. not the best ive ever seen but it was pretty good. i liked yo imagery and your flow. good piece bruh
^ thank u... i thought it waz rubbish compared to my average shit..
i wrote this while i was half asleep
and there are better writers then me eg.pakaveli
The Rise And Fall Will Be My Death
So As I Gasp For My Last Breath
Put the Gage To My Chest
i Gulp a Heep of Salayva In Distess
Sound Of The Gun Cocked Wat's Next
*Bang*
Bullet Incarnates His Soul
Burinin His Skin His Heart Turned Cold
Dead In a Matter of Secounds
MIND AND THE PEN
Is the Greatest Weapon
So Dont Use Gunz or Knives
Do it If u Dont wanna Live a Life
Made By Me
Not bad. Rhyme scheme was simple yet nice. Short, blaitant, and to the point. Vocab was also simple but fit the idea. Overall not bad. Keep it up buddy.
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