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Thread: Death of Feelings

  1. #1
    Kid-Critical
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    Death of Feelings

    …Death of Feelings…
    .
    .
    .

    .
    ...Love…
    Our problem is we believe a lie about the emotions expressed
    Instead of reacting we hold in and keep the motive suppressed
    We with-hold our true feelings in fear of appearing weak
    In turn we form a bottleneck and use fear to steer our speech
    Positive emotions are treated the same, see it for instance,
    We are incapable of loving strong with out feeling resistant.
    Afraid to do the one and only thing that binds us in unity
    Which is about loving one another in a righteous community
    We have many emotions, We can’t allow fear to overpower us all
    We must deliver our thoughts of failure into a powerless fall
    .
    ...Anger…
    Humans have been taught to believe expressing anger is wrong
    But we all know aggression cannot obey the anchor for long
    Holding it in doesn’t stop the feeling it just stops the moving
    Because In-caged rage is only as strong as the locks you’re using
    When you break, it showers and pours in the wrong direction
    From anger evolves hatred towards any with strong intention
    We must release, and reveal the happiness that’s built inside us
    Or we’ll never be fully rid of it, we must put the guilt behind us
    .
    ...General…
    We choose our mind over our heart, and form a fortification
    Instead of constructive criticism we get caught up in hatin’
    Medicate our minds to rid the attributes that make us human
    Our hearts combine us but our heads try to break the union
    No love, no hate, and nothing in-between but marsh pitty
    lab rats running in a maze in search of a way out this Dark City

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  4. #4
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
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    First and foremost thanks for hitting my piece up...I appreciate it, I always make it back to anyone that shows love...But anyway yea I liked this piece I liked how you sorta spoke about the negativaty as well as the positive side of the topics...Your structure was nicely done...seemed to come out smooth as I read it...Nice job keep it up...

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  5. #5
    Kid-Critical
    Guest
    iight uppin for more feedback

  6. #6
    Banned Big C.'s Avatar
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    well i have to admitt this was a very well writin peice man...
    I got to say the structure and flow was excellent throughout..
    rhymes were good and nice multies here and there were tight.
    topic was interesting and overall this peice was a real good read.
    keep it up...peace~

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    the structure is too formed and the wrong amount of silybals too many or too few i dunno but the flow was wrong... if u care about that, some people dont...

    theres a song on gnarls barkley album and he sings

    'why is this my life' is almost everbodys question
    but essentially im an animal, so what do i do with all the aggression

    he said more in 2 bars than u did in ur whole anger verse, like- think of it as... less is usually more paace

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  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    this shit was horrible the worst rhyme I eva read in my life...........-infinite out of 10.......shit was unbelievably wack

  9. #9
    Kid-Critical
    Guest
    thnc for da feedback and Vertikle thnx for da free up my nigga hahahaha

  10. #10
    Kid-Critical
    Guest
    one more up iight

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