User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: -=Cocaine=-

  1. May 25th, 2006, 10:35 AM #1
    -=HazE=-
    -=HazE=- is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Age
    34
    Posts
    83

    -=Cocaine=-

    Scriptures deadly compromising
    As Virtues turn to Craze
    I've pulled lives into perspectives
    Compensating,Evaluations of praise
    Stricly Hazed,Of more grams payed
    Creating an imaginary,Minds fall into a daze
    Foretelling what I write,To intend what I say
    As I pray,I elevate scenes
    From dreams,to Kilos in K's
    Hearts racing,Tipping in Amaze
    Bill to nose,To get thru Another day

    Ill rattle Ya brain Cuz,Drive ya Insane
    Im real,I deal,I kill...I take the pain away
    Ill rattle ya brain cuz,Drive ya Insane
    Cuz if you dealing,Then you killin
    On my mind is Cocaine

    A bit sloppy,but its a start
    I plan to record when i get i 2nd verse
    Any feed?
    Open Mic



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    "Steadly Deciding...Thoughts Sowing Deadly weather
    I rip verses apart,Yet my flows pulls them together"
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. May 25th, 2006, 10:41 AM #2
    Wyte
    <s>Wyte</s> is offline
     
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    6,170
    Battle Record
    52-21
    not good i dont think, u can workon structure and worplaying......flow was ok, but this piece was average
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. May 25th, 2006, 10:41 AM #3
    -=HazE=-
    -=HazE=- is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Age
    34
    Posts
    83
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168633
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293715
    Open Mic



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    "Steadly Deciding...Thoughts Sowing Deadly weather
    I rip verses apart,Yet my flows pulls them together"
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. May 25th, 2006, 04:27 PM #4
    Black Ninja
    Black Ninja is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,213
    A bit sloppy,but its a start
    I plan to record when i get i 2nd verse
    Any feed?
    WACK ..if you tried your best..if you didnt....wel WACK..Biatch

    work on...............hhhhmmm...EvErythin BiATCH
    The Rise And Fall Will Be My Death
    So As I Gasp For My Last Breath
    Put the Gage To My Chest
    i Gulp a Heep of Salayva In Distess
    Sound Of The Gun Cocked Wat's Next
    *Bang*
    Bullet Incarnates His Soul
    Burinin His Skin His Heart Turned Cold
    Dead In a Matter of Secounds
    MIND AND THE PEN
    Is the Greatest Weapon
    So Dont Use Gunz or Knives
    Do it If u Dont wanna Live a Life
    Made By Me
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. May 25th, 2006, 04:58 PM #5
    Mic.
    Mic. is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    New York
    Age
    35
    Posts
    558
    Battle Record
    10-10
    this was descent. structure was all over the place.
    flow was alright i guess....rhymes were alright too..
    no vocab and complexity. topic was meh..aight i gues..
    overall this was just a descent peice. keep elevating
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. May 25th, 2006, 10:29 PM #6
    -=HazE=-
    -=HazE=- is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Age
    34
    Posts
    83
    Quote Originally Posted by Black Ninja
    WACK ..if you tried your best..if you didnt....wel WACK..Biatch

    work on...............hhhhmmm...EvErythin BiATCH
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293545
    Biatch??
    Such a typical wigger
    Open Mic



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    "Steadly Deciding...Thoughts Sowing Deadly weather
    I rip verses apart,Yet my flows pulls them together"
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. May 25th, 2006, 10:48 PM #7
    sILLable
    sILLable is offline
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,316
    Battle Record
    15-10
    i resent that remark...wigger..thats tha stupidest derogitory term ive ever heard..and unfortunately only ignorant peoples use that term...but aside from that...your piece was elementary...you had no complexity or real wordplay...no multis..your structure was just everywhere...i feel you have potential,just a little practice and concentration,you could get aiight in a few years.....try and incorporate some complexity and imagery..and lengthen it up some..very short....other than that..not too bad.....if you plan on replyin with some bullshit about my reply..dont..if you cant constructive criticism then you shouldnt post your pieces on here for them to get critiqued...keep elevatin and droppin.~1~


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. May 25th, 2006, 11:06 PM #8
    Ink27
    Ink27 is offline
    Newbie Ink27's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Cicero
    Age
    37
    Posts
    27
    Battle Record
    1-0
    your wordplay was ok but ur structure was a mess but i see some potential and if you keep at it u'll get better. step up yo vacab. and try 2 use similies and metaphores,keep elevating and keep droppin


    INK
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. May 25th, 2006, 11:20 PM #9
    ExplictWords_XTC
    ExplictWords_XTC is offline
    Banned ExplictWords_XTC's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Smokin Srawberry or it might be cherry..on that bubba cush or it might be hairy..who said that smoke at blowin real heavy..smoke comin out the windows of the chevy!!!
    Age
    34
    Posts
    781
    Battle Record
    14-7
    nice shit.....needs work tho
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads

  1. Cocaine Anyone?
    By Prince Escobar in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: November 26th, 2006, 12:19 AM
  2. Cocaine Dreams
    By Dark_Shadow in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: May 20th, 2006, 01:45 PM
  3. Cocaine!
    By Sand in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 109
    Last Post: November 25th, 2005, 08:00 PM
  4. Cocaine
    By The Chrysosome in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: March 29th, 2005, 03:26 AM
  5. Cocaine
    By The Drifter in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: January 22nd, 2005, 05:57 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules