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Thread: Dyl Feat. Xtreme Malice

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Dyl's Avatar
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    Dyl Feat. Xtreme Malice

    Xtreme Malice

    Deceited Repention

    Go head and slit it, start your new beginning to life
    Feel adrenaline right? they always said your live'n 2 die
    But end it this time, in fact, take some more 2 the border
    Why leave by yourself, when you can get ya mother and daughter
    Outta ya mind?, ya can't be im your conscience speaking
    Don't worry bout the blood, y band it? keep that nonsense leaking
    Light headed? you can't be your not drunk enough, stand'n up
    But who's that in the corner, eye'n at? bet he thinks he's tuff
    Matter fact, kill the mirror image, yet i've got an idea
    A nice game of Russian Roulette, see if probabilities real
    No? why don'tcha visit the family, being distant aint the route
    You can tell them how you feel or show'em whatcha thinkn about
    A going away party, where to? closer to GOD, isn't that soothing
    Well 2 hell if they didn't pray, but its still pursueing
    Lets start the moving, you can even stop by ya ex loves spot
    I thought for you, and left a couple gifts, in the glove box
    It fun ha!? she's get'n away! hold up and use the stun gun
    Shit the bitch's done, its not ya fualt, she shouldnuv run
    Let's be logical, this is wat im for, 2 watch ova ya actions
    And guide you in the path of GOD, he knows that living is tragic
    Not the truth? why am i misguide'n you or even lie to you?
    Why so many questions u ask, its ur mind thas confind'n to



    Dyl

    Unwanted Thoughts

    Voices poisen my mind and I begin to indure an unstopable vision
    The terrifying thoughts of the dark lord as he breaks through the division
    My mind melts like butter as I hear him mutter a satanic prayer
    My skin now like a worn out carpet as it is slowly ripped bare
    He slowley whispers:
    "Haha boy,feel the dark heat of this horrible pain
    Every word I speak is drops of acid,as it slowly corrupts your brain
    You have always been unwanted in society,like a foal torn astray
    Your own wife was a clever women as she bravely ran away
    Everyday with another man and fucked until she's rotton
    while you are erased from her memory and forever forgotton"

    NO NO STOP!!!!!!My mind now bleeds slowly like a raging red river,
    I feel my aching heart pump with sorrow,as I feel a cold hearted quiver,
    The thoughts that once were forgotton,haunt me and tear me apart,
    They reach deep into my weeping soul and strangle my worn out heart,
    My own life in danger now,being played like a needle on a thread,
    I looked at my bloody body as it was now burning bright red,

    "Watch me now tear your skin to pieces....and leave you inside out,"

    Now cutting blades slit me as I began to helplessy scream and shout,
    ....My white eyes now slowly writing in my poor desperate face,
    My whole death will be left a mistery as I disappeared without a trace,
    I soon feel one last strike as I slowly feel the pain end inside of me
    Thats another innocent life wasted,as I am put 6ft under for eternity



    Red:Is the Devil

    If you have any questions we can both explain them.We are writing about 2 corrupted minds influenced by the devil
    Last edited by Dyl; June 6th, 2006 at 10:53 AM
    Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
    On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....

    But how you fall doesn't matter
    Its how you land

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Dyl's Avatar
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    Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
    On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....

    But how you fall doesn't matter
    Its how you land

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! A.O.D's Avatar
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    Xtreme Malice:

    But end it this time, in fact, take some more 2 the border
    Why leave by yourself, when you can get ya mother and daughter
    ^ I heard an accent while reading this lol...just thought I would share that.

    I like the topic on this...its very mischevious. Almost wish I would have thought to do it myself. It reminds me of that song Dr.Dre did with Eminem umm... it was "guilty conscious" The Rhyme Scheme was a little choppy but over all it was an intresting read.

    DYL:

    "Haha boy,feel the dark heat of this horrible pain
    Every word I speak is drops of acid,as it slowly corrupts your brain
    ^I like the description in this line.

    For it being a collab I dont see how it collab'd much. But eh, I enjoyed reading both verses. Rhyme Scheme was a little choppy in both but the whole topic idea you guys had kept me intrested. Keep Elevating.
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Dyl's Avatar
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    iightey then upps

    Tanx for feed hun
    Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
    On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....

    But how you fall doesn't matter
    Its how you land

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    I Agree With Wat A.O.D. Replyied
    This Was Kinda Like A Guilty Conscious Type Piece
    I Think It Was A Pretty Good Colab
    Good Vocab Ryhme Scheme Was Of A Some Points
    But The General Idea Was Gotten.
    I Think That U Guys Should Have Did It Like
    He Spits 4 Lines You Spit 4 Kinda Like A Back To Back Thing
    Overall This Is A Nice Read

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Dyl's Avatar
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    Well I just posted it really It wasn't ment to actually be like this its just that Malice never got back to me so I posted the 2 verses so meh
    Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
    On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....

    But how you fall doesn't matter
    Its how you land

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Dyl's Avatar
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    uppin
    Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
    On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....

    But how you fall doesn't matter
    Its how you land

  8. #8
    Expression Is Everything XM's Avatar
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    uppin didn't even kno this was here
    Where the fuck was I fore they found me?
    Floatn in a meadow, dragonflies all around me
    Seeded in a ghetto, smokin cigarellos
    Stress oceans try to drown me
    Walking on water like when Christ did, glidin
    Mic in my plam like the trident in the hand of Poseidon

  9. #9
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    pretty crazy i got song like that shit twisted nice read peace
    allik war a.k.a. raw killa

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    "You have thoroughly raped the english language with every sentence you type."-Engivale
    at least something you wrote mattered lmmao

  10. #10
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    Malice- Alright, your part of your verse was kinda coo. I liked it, nothing like your other pieces though. The emotion was there, the Imaginary was there, but not that very detailed. I'm feeling your piece was kinda basic, it seems rushed and quickly put together or it must be your long lines with no multi's, it was like reading a novel with only the end of the line rhymes, overall your piece kinda didn't interested me. I don't think you had an motavation to write a verse as well for this collab, I don't know, its not like you. Anyways, Nice Drop though.

    DYL- Ok your verse was good. What didn't interest me was this collab based on its creativity. You had a good verse, the meta's was ok, the imaginary was decent and the emotion was good. You did your thing, another thing that didn't interest me was your word uses, I seen sentences describing how the devil is taking over the character brain, this was simplistic, with meta's being average, overall I was kinda bored with your part. Eitherway, good verse.

    This collab was ok, I didn't feel that both of you put out your best though. Keep writing.

    *Edit* Lol @ the date June 5th. Lol

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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Dyl's Avatar
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    HAHA this is damn old Malice.Let this sink and we will do another one
    Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
    On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....

    But how you fall doesn't matter
    Its how you land

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