User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Losing My Love

  1. #1
    Epic Failure
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    310
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,173
    Battle Record
    11-0

    Losing My Love

    hip hop is a culture, there will never be on like it
    but im losin my love for hip and as hard as i try i cant fight it
    the hatred is eating at my brain and it feels like death
    and everytime i hear a rap song, it kills my breath
    the very thing im doing is the same thing causing me pain
    i feel leeches on my skin, hip hop wont be the same
    its indecent, because the same thing im preachin is flesh eating
    until its down to marrow and all i have is what im believein
    as much as i think its just a faze it continues to linger in me
    until it becomes so deep that im hip hop and noone can defend me
    maybe what everyone is saying is right, hip hop is satanic
    but i feel animosity towards rappers why do i feel this way god dammit
    and believe me i try to sit and reevalueate my feelings
    but i realize hip hop is the reason for so many killings
    to be or not to be against hip hop, and i choose to be
    i hope this feeling does last because thisisnt even the half
    hip hop is dead like Nas said, anything dope was dropped in the past
    it seems as if this other half of me is out and with my soul its clashin
    because rap makes my blood sizzle, and i hate it with a passion
    dont get me wrong ill listen to some rap music but its only if im bored
    hip hop used to be pure, now its diseased and it cant be cured
    hit with a plaque were everything that came out this year was explicit
    rap is no longer a art, its a competition for those who are materilistic
    as much as i hate to say this but hip hop is no longer the hype
    so tuck hip hop in for bed and give it your final kiss goodnight

    Link 1
    Link 2
    Last edited by Amor Jones; July 27th, 2006 at 12:34 PM

  2. #2
    Epic Failure
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    310
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,173
    Battle Record
    11-0
    first off lemme say this is my personal opinion. i will always love hip hop but its gettin 2 gimicky now. it used 2 b all about who could rock the show n lyrical content. but now its all about beats n when u read the lyrics all u reading is gibberish. n im tired of so i remember Bounce sayin get creative so i did. Thanks Bounce for inspiring me to write my dopest OM yet u getta
    Last edited by Amor Jones; July 27th, 2006 at 12:32 PM
    T H E D I E N A S T Y


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  3. #3
    Dopeness.
    very DOPE...ima have to sign you to Death Row Records home boy

    chea....
    Black.Panthers.

  4. #4
    Epic Failure
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    310
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,173
    Battle Record
    11-0
    thanks for the feedback
    Last edited by Amor Jones; July 27th, 2006 at 11:59 AM
    T H E D I E N A S T Y


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  5. #5
    Redwood Ryan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Age
    35
    Posts
    20,950
    Battle Record
    12-8
    meh pretty good drop u had some overall good lines nice flow with multies but try to make it more complex and work on your vocab and strutre

  6. #6
    naw man Suge Knight got a bullet proof vest, he aint gon be die'n again...but i need to kill Biggie...he keeps on eating my Double Whooper an frechfries ya feel...so yo be down w/ Thug Life so we can puncture his obese ass...my nigga u DOWN!
    Black.Panthers.

  7. #7
    Epic Failure
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    310
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,173
    Battle Record
    11-0
    No im not down stop freepostin
    T H E D I E N A S T Y


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  8. #8
    Epic Failure
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    310
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,173
    Battle Record
    11-0
    upping for sum more feedback
    T H E D I E N A S T Y


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  9. #9
    Epic Failure
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    310
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,173
    Battle Record
    11-0
    upping 2
    T H E D I E N A S T Y


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  10. #10
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    12,158
    Battle Record
    3-0
    Awards WOP Champion
    I understand the general direction and concept you went with here, but you didn't pull it off well. Your lines were for the most part bare and the end of line scheme you ran with was pretty dry, not to mention cookie cutter. All that reading just to get to a it/it breath/death rhyme at the end of the line. That just doesn't cut it when it comes to writting lyrics now days. I would have rather seen you use metaphors to describe your issues with hip hop, instead of long lines that basically didn't have any impact on the reader. You can say more with the use of metaphors in less lines, plus that ads some depth and complexity to the work. Emotion was weak, as was the imagery, you didn;t paint any pictures in your readers mind. Overall, you need to work on all components and work out a fresh scheme in your OM's. Right now, there isnt much for me to say other than you need to polish up your writting.

    [YOUTUBE]Av7yOXafS40?hd=1[/YOUTUBE]
    "World Class War" Official Music Video
    We can use all the views we can get, please support the Father/Daughter movement in hip hop. Do us a favor and post on your Facebook walls and such. Thank you


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  11. #11
    Epic Failure
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    310
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,173
    Battle Record
    11-0
    ok well ima go bakc to the drawing board,
    T H E D I E N A S T Y


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Age
    34
    Posts
    112
    Battle Record
    0-1
    uppin 4
    forget net bangin cuz u aint punk if u aint gon really fight
    its funny that most the people on the internet....
    .....................................who say they black is actually white
    ^^ Dats Word

  13. #13
    ..in chains? Naw!
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    M24
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,685
    Battle Record
    5-2
    Awards SS Season Champion
    "Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.

    I HAVE TO BE HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
    READ THE RULES.
    CLOSED.

    Reason: Shit Feedback.


    -Brix."
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

Similar Threads

  1. Amy Winehouse - Love Is A Losing Game
    By I-M-E in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: September 20th, 2011, 12:38 AM
  2. Losing Myself.
    By Prince Escobar in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: May 10th, 2007, 08:52 PM
  3. Declaring and Losing Love
    By Messiah. in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: July 10th, 2006, 12:06 PM
  4. I'm losing my love for Hiphop
    By Raptor Jesus in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: March 1st, 2006, 11:14 PM
  5. losing someone
    By Angel in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: March 5th, 2005, 07:53 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •