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Thread: Low Tide: The Time of Rising Minds

  1. #1
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Low Tide: The Time of Rising Minds

    Drowning in two feet of freedom, feeling numb
    I'm deemed a dead man with arm floaties on
    watching others tread skeptic waters while spiting iron
    as ions form bonds. Mathematics partner with triathlons
    to see how long these sentences can run on
    without any commas or academic coma that will be
    paraphrased or put into semi-colons that shit similies;
    similar to thinking of porcelain then putting a (toilet)
    in parenthethis cause this is for the kids who traded genes
    for cesspools unless school is giving out asterisks,
    who asks if its Adam that came before the Apple but PC's
    come complete with Texas Instruments and I make beats
    off my protractor; tools producing circles since I've already
    taken the game levels from every plain angle. So strangle me
    with a ruler to measure the inchworm that binds you're books,
    locals looking for hooks to fish out vocals caught in the throat
    of diplomacy. Evolution taught hope to fly by attaching strings to pigs,
    though moths rot in forgotten classes instead of tipping glasses
    in Cancun where butterflies are tranquilized on lower backs
    like crap tattoos; needles mix wit booze aboard a cruise ship
    but you dip, set, and roc-a-way the boat. On occasion cacoons
    get swept under the rocks, where oceans won't dare to sway
    the depths that kept sanity and left humanity staring at the bay.
    Last edited by Moniker; August 9th, 2006 at 10:59 PM
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  2. #2
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    I defeinatly enjoyed this read here. It was rather playful as the author interacted with the reader I felt in an intellgent banter. I loved the wording, and the complexity of soem of those references in metaphoric translation, damn solid. Loose enoguh to have a readers interpitation, but knowing the writer, it;s easiy enough to know where he is going with this. Overall nice job, and is expected when you jump into a mindless written. Very good, another well written and though provokling drop as you are know for. Sorry, for the sleep man, but you knwo how it is aroudn here when you write above the norm. I still appreciate it though...

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  3. #3
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Very solid. The complexity is superb, I loved the beginning where you are talking about punctuation and used the school metaphor... the thought process seems to be a little out there to me, a lot of imagery and metaphorical language, and I don't really know you or how you think so it's kind of tough for me to get the essence of this piece. My particular forte is the rhyming, which I liked in this piece, it could really be rapped and made to sound very good, that's what I appreciate about good work is the audio capability.

    I've never read your work, I believe, so I'll be looking for your next piece.

    similar to thinking of porcelain then putting a (toilet)
    in parenthethis cause this is for the kids who traded genes
    for cesspools unless school is giving out asterisks,
    who asks if its Adam that came before the Apple but PC's
    come complete with Texas Instruments and I make beats
    off my protractor; tools producing circles since I've already
    taken the game levels from every plain angle.
    My favorite. I loved that part, it's so wonderfully worded, and you use the language to really elevate the rhyme overall and put a deep thinker's kind of thing in here. A very philosophical piece, overall, as by the tone of this I'm assuming a lot of your work is. Very philosophical, perhaps not conclusive, but what philosophy is? We are but questions without concrete answers.

    Anyways, that's my opinion. If you could, I'd love you to read my work and see what you have to say about it, my most recent piece I'm still looking for intelligent feedback on, so if you could hit it that would be great. Looking forward to your next piece.

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  4. #4
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Always glad to hear from you bounce. And thanks for the read Engivale
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    i love it, the story line was easy to follow even though there wasnttoo many metaphore or it wasnt complex it was a nice o-m much luv 74
    M.O.A.S
    mind of a soldada
    74 folkin 4 eva
    Lyrically Destined

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    i love it, the story line was easy to follow even though there wasnttoo many metaphore or it wasnt complex it was a nice o-m much luv 74 it was really dark but i enjoy that style people into the commercial rap instead of hip hop may not feel it
    M.O.A.S
    mind of a soldada
    74 folkin 4 eva
    Lyrically Destined

  7. #7
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    up?
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ASI.'s Avatar
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    nice shit man i felt this drop keep your shit up u got alot to say and you kept me drawn the whole time...stay up !

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    Audio is Great.
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    KarosiveissosickKarosiveissosickKarosiveissosick

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    Yea your a vet and all with your 123,000 posts but um really....


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    Songs



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