Rainbow Colored Dreams. Ft Kanye West

[Daz]

There must be more good women than men percentage wise
So her chance of having a husband just minimized
That's why a lot of girls claim they ain't into guys
and mess with other girls part time to improvise -Kanye West

Her mind was like fifty in her teens, never wishing for her dreams
down to earth, she's realistic so it seemed
she played games with few missing from the team, as blissful as can be
misunderstood, her heart ripping through her seams
Chuz she's had to many bad picks and top upsets
thinking how could she trust a man when her father left?
another problem from a ghetto filled with fatherless
and feels his absence in her heart when she drops her chest
while she picks up some losers for her friends
found an answer to her problems. writes fluid with her pen
only problem is relationships she's losing it again
chuz another man ended up misusing her again
a diamond in the rough or a rose in the stone?
she's never realised. wouldnt suppose that she knows
& even in the summer her hearts colder and broke
she had to raise herself, so her souls full of holes
chuz how can u raise yourself when unloved and need kissing?
thats trynna climb a waterfall, tired and feet slippin
so of course you open up when you find her and she listens
unlike all the niggaz. admire her, she's different
so now she likes girls. So bi in a frenzy
that she cant see the light, her saviour's pretending
but if she can can get girls and replace them with men see..
that'll fill her up in whats making her empty
and you cant call it wrong not wanting to judge her
its alright to you, unless you fuckin LOVE her
your in another class, solutions getting tougher
how can you prove ya point? you dont just wanna fuck her!
So you cater to her needs showin her real guys
praying that one day she'll wake up and realize
that if you had a chance you could show her real life
and promise her forever, head out and kill time
but really the whole point of what i wanna reveal..I'm
just saying that whole thing plays in real time
theres no stoppin her evolution and i know it kills pride
but you gotta understand what the fuck she feels like.
though maybe you can show her tha men arent pricks
so she can forget that bullshit bout men arent shit
to do that you gotta remember where it started kid
& the next girl you hurt might be another heartless chick

There must be more good women than men percentage wise
So her chance of having a husband just minimized
That's why a lot of girls claim they ain't into guys
and mess with other girls part time to improvise -Kanye West


Links later

[B.I.Detained.]

Links? lol.

Anyways, I liked this Daz. Nice story, and a pretty common one at that. It can happen in anything really.. one bad experience could leave somebody scarred for life. Especially a young, inexperienced woman. Your rhymes told it well, and nothing ever really fell off. Props, man.. but get those links!

[Daz]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=310544\
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=310622

[Daz]

Ummk.

[Richard Parker]

this was an ill piece dude. a few parts in the story where i was just kindof following along, but overall, it was well written - and so true. one part i think needed a little work was where you said she turned bi.. you kind of just threw that out there. would've been better with some kind of a transition. my favorite part was when it got more personal, towards the end.. the part about not all guys just want to fuck.. it evoked more emotion in that part of the story. good read.

[Daz]

thanks feebs.

[Nique.]

Nique will respond here.

[Daz]

thats excellent^

[B.Nesse]

oook being that i'm like a prime example of girls turnin bi, ima reply...aight, ya whole story was tight, easy to vibe with...i get what u was tryna say, imagery wasnt all there but it was decent, other than that ya choice of words was good only thing that lagged was ur storyline, somewhere in the middle it thru me off (iono it jus might be me) but for what its worth it wasnt bad.......now the whole sterotype near the end, about girls turnin gay because of how guys treat em, thats not always why.....most the time thats not even one of the reasons, its a mental thing and for some females its a physical attraction, i knoe 4 me it was physical, all my life....even tho dudes were on they "male mentality" shit thats not what made me switch but good om either way

8/10....

p.s. and no i didnt get turned out, if thats what u thinkin lol not even
...stay up

[Daz]

Well this isnt really a general story..its more of a personal situation I turned into an om. So I'm not being cliche` just being..personal.. Its not a topical..its my life

[Nique.]

This isn't a common story. Common stories are stories that are constantly written. It's a known topic, but I don't recall anyone writing an OM about it in particular. Anyway, this is very true in A LOT of ways. I thought this was dope. I thought the emotion could've been more profound, but nevertheless, this was great. The flow was fluid and so were the transitions. It was also well-written. You made a lot of solid points and I liked how you incorporated kanye's lines at the beginning and at the end of your verse. Good shit Daz. Stay active.

[Daz]

Thanks nique

[Daz]

ummkkkk

[Atti]

this was a cool piece. had a very smooth quality about it, between the fluency of the storyline and the rhyme scheme in itself; well put together. i thought the kanye thing would gay it up like it typically does when people do this kind of stuff, but you used only a few lines and made them more so as a point of refference rather than an intricate part of a psuedo collaberation. nice shit overall, haven't really read to much from you but i'll try and respond to some more.

[Atti]

Decemberlesque

... if you could.