Tears Shade Red...(A Love Story)

[Spoken]

Tears Shade Red...(A Love Story)




1st Verse= Forum
2nd Verse= 'Sylus'



“The man of my dreams waltz right in..
............While that same man break danced on out”


Another lonely day partakes within my love forsaken heart
at the edge of my bed where my loneliness is shed
squandering, the thought sets the moods loneliness to start
emotions of color feeling blue so my tears shade red
signifying my heart as if these tears said it all
treading in pity, drowning in sorrow
find myself lying in the dark crying beyond these walls
tiring with unchanged times of today's tomorrow
self-esteems consistence none I question it's existence
as the reflection off the window supports the allegations
seemingly becoming reminiscing of loves twisting positions
Believing there's someone for everyone is a falsified statement
glancing out the window chanting for when will I find love
As I seem to be lost in thought's these feelings have brought
For I am truly life's romantic movie as I find I'm love's groupie
And the final tear runs down my cheek and drops off

“3 Hours later…”

I sit patiently, pacing the breathes I’ve taken
In a reminder that his love takes my breathe away…
But in return I get nothing, fate drifts along in a sea I’ve mistaken
False statement love desecrates, like the wind that blows night and day
Monologues, I repeat quotes from love semantic presence
“O Romeo, O Romeo, were art thou Romeo”…. For I am still in search
Fascinations dig with an axle, grinding my emotions to detract my pain
Gritting my teeth in tears, O how much this quarreled pain hurts
Sundial testaments place its inheritance bold force
Breathing within my veins, purging RED mast under my skin
Tugs of fear crash and clash; Sedated left bruised in course,
Of mustering TEARS, touch ups from this very secluded artistic sin
So do I truly deserve this passionate barrier of false love
That eats away with every second left for a human being to breathe
NO!...I just take in what I can and slowly dilate with above,
Asking the lord to take me, while I sit scratching the surface underneath.



As I hold my tears, the closest friends I have,
I let go of you and shed tears in memoir of your hatred.
To let you go was a gift, I’ve wished for long to have had,
I've succeeded, I lay myself to rest in my bed of blood that’s sedated..

“To let it go is a goal..
…..to live happy after that…is a dream”


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=314183
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=314245

[Spoken]

Bump!.

[Spoken]

come on people upping this.
dont sleep on this i mean it aint the best of OM but at least feed.

[Don Q]

it was a great piece, the texture was ecxellent.....lol

[Spoken]

BUMP.

for feed from real writers...

[XM]

Don't see why this is getting slept'd on, its a pretty good collab drop...

Forum:
your style is simple but very well used especially in this piece cuz the whole A,B,A,B rhyme scheme was used very nicely evenso more then decent, it flowed too well with it, and even when i tried to get off the flow it still flowed well so props for that, the imagry was amazing along with your emotion which i felt stood out the most in your verse

Another lonely day partakes within my love forsaken heart
at the edge of my bed where my loneliness is shed
squandering, the thought sets the moods loneliness to start
emotions of color feeling blue so my tears shade red

my favorite lines were your opener to the a story you displayed, much imagry laid there and stood out which made me continue to read on.

Sylus:
you writting bastard lol i can see you've based much of this drop on flow with some pretty good inners, you've displayed more emotion than that of imagry but wasn't really a downfall to the verse, vocabulary was beautiful cuz me well i love a good complex vocabulary especially if used right i think it brings out more in the piece and displays the imagry and emotion better ya kno yours wasn't too complex where i had to look up the meaning but still kept my interest in your words i also like the lil shakespeare reference added to it i thought it was amusing cuz i really wasn't expecting to see such a line added to your piece very unexpected but well use. well worded and well rounded drop props to both

Monologues, I repeat quotes from love semantic presence
“O Romeo, O Romeo, were art thou Romeo”…. For I am still in search

favorite line

PS: ima huge fan of Shakespeare

-Xtreme Malice

[Spoken]

thanks man...appreciate the feed homie!.

upp!

[..IllThoughtZ..]

yea this drop definitely doesnt deserve to be getting slept on...this was filled with vivid emotion...nice attention to details and the topic is very original which made me want to read more...i enjoyed both parts but the second one is what got me....the nice amount of emotion that was in it ..and you can tell that you actually thought about every line too...good stuff fellas...if u can plz rtf my OM called "Understanding the Unknown"

[Spoken]

^^
will do man thanks man upping this people...dont sleep!..

[.......*]

BUMP Thankx for the feed.

[Forum]

Bump...............ya'll sleepN on this piece

[Spoken]

Bump.
dont sleep on this man.

[.......*]

another day as feeders have slept one away

BUMP

[Forum]

another day as feeders have slept one away

BUMP

again !

[Truth Iscariot]

people alway's choose the wrong pieces to sleep o but it waas the title it sounds predictable but anyway its was a good collab the both of you did good the look of it made me not wanna read it i like centered pieces but the rhyme scheme you guys did is hard to make as good as it was in this piece so that show good lyrical skill i liked the feel of the piece it was nice and dark both had some multis this was a nice piece next time make a less predictable name and you will get more feed people need to read this