The angel of sorrow
Sleeps now in death's embrace
No more pain within dark arms
As silently she lays...
The angel of sorrow
Sleeps now in death's embrace
No more pain within dark arms
As silently she lays...
saight this wasnt much but i c wha kinda style it is,( im not a big fan of it)(<-- the style) but in my mind i find tha peice as great pontential to add to and make it more complex n ya got your self a peice
..resp..
You obviously haven't understood the peice and if Tourniquet would care to comment on what you said you'll see...
short but sweet.keep droppin.im out~1~
uppin'
Ahh dammit..
I get so damn tired of peeps in here suggesting shit like add this/make it longer/got potential (if ya just re-write it that is- jeez!) blah blah blah.. Dont read someones work and measure it by your own style, 90% of its gonna be different... rarely will two writers feel in complete sync with eachother in every regard.. Read the piece and allow yourself to feel it, allow yourself to understand what it is that the work inspires within yourself.
Yeah, constructive criticism is always handy, but there is a difference between feedback, and SPAM.
Personally, half the stuff I read in here aint for me, doesnt touch me, some of it I cant even read the entire way through - in those cases I dont comment, the reason being Respect. Just as our own styles are different, also our tastes vary, and if I cant feel the piece thats my fault, not the authors- they wrote it, it came from within them and therefore holds meaning to the writer.
As for the poem - well, all I can say is, when I read this, the dark words, the painful words.. I felt at peace.
Regards~
Last edited by Tourniquet; August 12th, 2003 at 11:51 AM
Def like this piece...
Yo...like someone else said...blah blah to all the stuff bout it being longer...
If you really have something to say and someone else really cares....the shortest poem is one word...help...
This is better and shows depth...
keep writing
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