Tear Saves Another Drop.

[Mimic]

A Tear Saves Another Drop.



Alone...
it was the night before christmas, the small boy was alone,
no festive love was ever given, the little boy was in home.
his cheeks were rose blushed, his hair covered his eyes,
the true moral of his festive joy, were just invaded with lies.
the boy sniffled, walked to his tree and placed an angel,
he's heard storys of the gaurdians, so he prayed to gabrial,
"save me!", he was helpless the boy was only age of seven,
frail legs unformed, his weak arms to small to reach out to heaven.
he wished their was peace, amongst happiness and calm,
preaching for god to craddle the boy between his embraced palms.
Freedom?..
untill the day once come, God was seen in his dreams,
he held the boys small hand, and stitched up his seams.
he had no future, no family no friends his life curved,
so, God made him a golden halo, gave him what he deserved.
the angels swooped down picked the boy from lifes crack,
gave him small wings, to fly and keep them on back.
the boy could escape the world, into a place of his birth,
where wishes became fiction, to look down at the earth.
God lifted his hopes to a cloud he was holding,
clouds had a silverlining.. but this boys smile made it golden.
Free..
the boy's face lit up, the hope was back from the grave,
"thanks god" he giggled, for my poor life you did save.
God looked at him, and exclaimed "son you were brave",
the boy sat beside God, and explored the new life he was gave.
he was took out the torture the agony and all his pain,
to a life where in a non-fiction world, he can become mortal again.

[Mimic]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...878/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...800/index.html

[Calli]

was not bad, the Topic and were it was going was good and deep, but the road to get there fell off at times, the first part was nice, the second was a lil less in emotion and imagery.....i liked the closing, was a very good way to end this. again i liked the idea, but just think in some points that maybe you made it to simple. and i can tell this was not just thrown together like i do most of mine, this had a topic in mind while writing, as apposed to writing and then giving it a title, so with that said was a good drop well worth the read. aside from the simple side and slight flow issues i thought this was well written.

[Mimic]

-Thanks-

Up'n^

[xHaveHeart]

that was not what i was expecting at all!
the flow all the way through was amazing and made it sound really good.in parts some of the actual english read abit off,just because you were trying to make it rhyme.but i like how you didnt go over the top and stuck to telling a very good story!