Rules and Regulations
Please notice the change of due times, and as always, good luck!
Rules and Regulations
Please notice the change of due times, and as always, good luck!
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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yerrr
I'm here to break my own ball and chain..
great... Blacketh... let's do it...
Don't Stop The Music.
yo -
notes, intricately placed to motion a symphony
instrumental dissertations boasting vocal epiphanies
composing so brilliantly, this spotlights' smoky consistency
lead me to believe i've seen the ghost of a middle C.
cloaked visibility - the utter magic of sound,
thrusting eternal sunshine from those shadowy clouds;
we danced the night away, spinning ever faster around
on a balcony, overlooking half of our town ..
you wept inside my arms, recanting tragedies, downs,
but i brought you up 'til we forgot about the grass on the ground.
stripped away the satin lace that sat in your gown,
and we moved until the music had us practically drowned.
yet it was vastly profound how once the melody died,
the devil showed his face inside your heavenly eyes
your shoulder turned colder as you'd heavily sigh
say a few good words, & then an apathetic goodbye..
the only moment when our "we" was ever separate from "I",
cause only portions of your heart n' soul could ever be mine.
the presence of Chopin, Van Beethoven or Bach
determined whether bathroom doors were open or locked.
whether lonely or not, whether temps were pleasant or hot
and whether frantic phone calls were accepted or blocked.
whether classical, pop, heavy metal or rock -
you'd pulsate to the tempo in an elegant shock,
FM static was your answer to affectionate knocks,
planted seeds until your sheriff had my deputy shot.
fretting the dots, vibrating waves, molecular frequencies
but headphones kept those experiences nestled in secrecy.
subliminal meanings overcasting ethical decency,
since one can just, adjust a treble level so easily ……
regretting that recently, i've been feeling silent as mutes
little birds chirping snow white songs & tying a noose,
we met beneath the sound of music; violently fused
then torn apart by it's beauty - i guess that "irony" suits.
the vibrancy, tunes that change our paths & perspectives
alters perception, all to rearrange synaptic connections,
trapped in a second - unable to accept our destruction
but you simply kept it moving to a steady percussion..
now, all i have is memories and unlimited space
your existence erased, leaving town without a smidgeon or trace
a record player, wood grained inside it's original case
while i listen to our relationship, spinning in place ..
addicted to tapes, mp3's and epic performances
another roadie for another band that endlessly voyages,
the second a tour begins, i'm uncomfortable, dearest..
it's hard to be a human who's in love with a spirit
we grew on bass, crescendoing percussion & lyrics
and the music never stops..
even if i'm the only one who can hear it.
- Black
Last edited by Mr. Black; May 27th, 2011 at 02:45 PM
I'm here to break my own ball and chain..
Centering Focus
conditions of chaos blossom... hatch and lay spawn
so i remain lost... walkin’ along paths wrapped in grey fog
sad emotions soaked by a heavy rain of tears shed
empty clouds which shroud bravery and beaded fear sweat
the sheer threat of pain enables me to turn inward
and binge on my insecurities to outwardly keep me limber
wasn’t gracious or tasteful, unable to see etiquette
this path of darkness and confusion... soon i treaded it
trying to see through this new dew on the mirror
as i moved askew i knew my view wouldn’t be clearer
and when people tried to help, the hurt worsened
I didn’t feel for YOU because it didn’t address the first person
with no time to spend I saw a sudden decline in friends
I’d become too focused on a point sitting behind the lens
tried extending a hand only to find the limb was severed
wondering if this thick of the jungle’s where i’ll live forever
so i venture off this path, trying to escape hell’s weather
a changing vantage point... not wanting to be self-centered
and as the sky clears i find here that i’ve never felt better
reaching inner peace... I breathe deeply and find myself centered
This was a sick battle.
Cognition - everything in this was very good, great concept great imagery and vocabulary. You had some great multis, all around good rhyme scheme and flow. Detail oriented and very good, it was either juxtaposition or contrast, I'll be honest I never really understood the difference, but whatever it was you did it well.
Esca - you had a real good verse too, Good imagery and vocabulary used in yours as well. Rhyme scheme was pretty good, mostly just using multis at the ends of your lines, that I noticed, except for some repeats of the end rhyme in the beginnings of a fee lines, that's what I caught anyways, some cool internal rhymes that I really liked too. This was pretty detail oriented too. Good work on your piece.
I think overall, both pieces were well done, but I feel that cognition did everything just a little better. This is why my vote is going to have to go to
Cognition
Great battle guys!
infektedpenz
Cognition. Damn. I dug this. You did that rhyme scheme to death lol. But it was dope. Made the flow of the piece steady and catchy. Good job with that. The content of this was dope. I was gonna use the same topic in a completely different way. I liked what you did with it. The last line was the icin' on the cake for me. Made everythin' that lead up to it hit that much harder when you ended it like that imo. Dope drop.
Esca. I liked this piece a lot. Though when I got around 8 bars away from the end I figured you were gonna end it on a "self centered" steez. Which isn't bad. But I was just like "when's it gonna pop up?" lol. A dope self reflectin' piece imo. I can relate to the feelings behind it.
This was a dope battle. A lot closer than I expect when I just glanced at the verses. Both wrote good pieces. What it boiled down to was I think Cognition wrote the more creative piece. The endin' of his piece. As simple as it might seem to be. Gave the rest of the piece a completely new light to me. And that's what won this battle for him imo.
Vote - Cognition
A.i
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*Click one of ^those to check out my music and shit
Cognition: I liked your verse allot, loving the immagery, usage of vocab and everything is just solid and on point. Your content stood out the most and the rhymesheme is how i like it..
Esca: You got a nice piece there, though your message came across well sometimes i was waiting for something but it didnt come, vocab was on point and you had some cool inner rhymings here and there.. but it wasnt enough to beat Cognition's verse.
V/ Cognition
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- Artificial Intelligence
cog- dope verse homie good shit that rhyme scheme was rediculuos i liked it imagery was nice as well words carefully placed throughout the verse. everythign was on point in my opinion. Esca you had a nice verse, i felt you left it kind of open ended,i agree with phiz in the way that ur ideas were like leading to certain things and than nnothing happend. other than that tho solid peice vocab was there along with steady flow just i dont think it was as polished/ complete as cogs verse. good job tho
vote cog
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Cog- Nice verse with imagery, love the sims in this giving it a now and then of not only music but relating it to the commonality of today. Love the structure and flow was good. But the main thing that stood out above all was the ability to transmute the nuances of music into common occurances of modern life. Good Job
Esc - First thing that busts off the thread is the vocab, you have a good use of it and the structure and flow doesn't detract from that but most of the vocab came within the bar and you ended it with something that was simplistic. You can do it but it has to be flawless and expressive. The "treaded" line is one that worked against you.
Overall - Cog takes it with a more integrated piece,
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Best Topical Writer: 143
Cognition - Awesome stuff here. Great flow, rhyme scheme and multis. I felt you did really well with the idea and incorporating it into your piece and the progression of the story. Also the vocab was quite well polished.
Escamoteur - That was a really good verse. I found the story really interesting from the way you told it. Also your vocab was good, rhyming scheme and flow was also good as well.
I really enjoyed reading both verses but I think Cognition took this a more interesting and overall better verse. Good work to both though.
v/ Cognition
Cognition wins (2-1)
Escamoteur loses (1-1)
CLOSED
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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