okay chill the hell out
10 lines
due 12:59 eastern standard time.
Bonkers
Jeffry
okay chill the hell out
10 lines
due 12:59 eastern standard time.
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Originally Posted by Celph Taut
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Originally Posted by Celph Taut
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check, droppin links wit verse.
u proud to be a 'base' boy? niggas these days..
ur broke, poor & underfed. life can't be fair
& everytime J.C. Penny's..
..he collects them hoping he could buy some clothes from there
ur no writer & im so fire. u can't see me with rhymes
it's only right that ur a baseboy. ur whole style is fiending for lines
u'd never get pussy. ur nuts havent dropped yet, u still a bitch
the only time we'd ever say jeff dunham is watching that ventriloquist
you gonna hear everyone repeat it. ur wacker than others
but im not one to beat a dead hoarse. & i'd feel bad doing that to ur mother
got vets vouchin for me in LLL. i been dope from the beginin'
so i dont know what freon. i just kno he's huffin that if he thinks that he's winnin
i'll drop links in a min.
I totally forgot about this battle - thats how important you are to me,
you couldn't stand out of a crowd like norbit in that spelling bee,
im gunna leave him for dead while his body is left for dead in the middle of the street
you ain't the real bongkers, so ill make sure to body this fag, and drop this G,
hes callin me unintelligent, and ssayin that im stupid,
if i wanted a real match id hit up the real bongkers to show this lame some improvement,
I come with fire on all cylinders and this heat i bring you can't match this,
ill sink this fag sailor have him jumpin for his life like the U.S.S. Arizona battleship,
This dude has no style, ill roast him like a pig like friday night bonfires,
hes just another whack from LB, get off this site your RB contract is about to expire
keystyle...
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Originally Posted by Celph Taut
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quotables-
ur broke, poor & underfed. life can't be fair
& everytime J.C. Penny's..
..he collects them hoping he could buy some clothes from there
ahh this is pretty dope..
u'd never get pussy. ur nuts havent dropped yet, u still a bitch
the only time we'd ever say jeff dunham is watching that ventriloquist
decent nameplay. made me lol
vs
im gunna leave him for dead while his body is left for dead in the middle of the street
you ain't the real bongkers, so ill make sure to body this fag, and drop this G,
ok ok.. not bad
bonkers came harder. decent nameplay , good punches.. jeffry you had some ok lines here and there.. but they were mostly corny.
good battle tho ma niggas
v-Bonkers
NIGHTMARES
ur broke, poor & underfed. life can't be fair
& everytime J.C. Penny's..
..he collects them hoping he could buy some clothes from there
vs
im gunna leave him for dead while his body is left for dead in the middle of the street
you ain't the real bongkers, so ill make sure to body this fag, and drop this G,
Bonkers definitely had better attempts throughout. I was being generous with Jeffs quote, you just need to work on being a little more creative and work on smoother wording. keep at it man.
Vote Bonkers
Bonkers
ur broke, poor & underfed. life can't be fair
& everytime J.C. Penny's..
..he collects them hoping he could buy some clothes from there
ur no writer & im so fire. u can't see me with rhymes
it's only right that ur a baseboy. ur whole style is fiending for lines
u'd never get pussy. ur nuts havent dropped yet, u still a bitch
the only time we'd ever say jeff dunham is watching that ventriloquist
you gonna hear everyone repeat it. ur wacker than others
but im not one to beat a dead hoarse. & i'd feel bad doing that to ur mother
Punches were consistent only issue i had was the wording on ur closer other then that ur setups were nice and ur execution was on point
Jeff
im gunna leave him for dead while his body is left for dead in the middle of the street
you ain't the real bongkers, so ill make sure to body this fag, and drop this G,
hes callin me unintelligent, and ssayin that im stupid,
if i wanted a real match id hit up the real bongkers to show this lame some improvement,
this was nice and direct nameplay attempts were on point then after u seem to fall off within ur concepts
MVGT: Bonkers
Just overall had the better punches setups and concepts.
bump
vsu'd never get pussy. ur nuts havent dropped yet, u still a bitch
the only time we'd ever say jeff dunham is watching that ventriloquist
you gonna hear everyone repeat it. ur wacker than others
but im not one to beat a dead hoarse. & i'd feel bad doing that to ur mother
im gunna leave him for dead while his body is left for dead in the middle of the street
you ain't the real bongkers, so ill make sure to body this fag, and drop this G,
vote = bonkers
more punches and better punches....jeff had one bar that was ok...the rest was bad...
The Birth Of Creation
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Storyteller | Cr@$h | JMS | Meth | Celph Taut | Messiah | Bstill | Fatal
bonkers
ur broke, poor & underfed. life can't be fair
& everytime J.C. Penny's..
..he collects them hoping he could buy some clothes from there
jc penny flips are sorta played but u used the nameplay in a okish kind of way
ur no writer & im so fire. u can't see me with rhymes
it's only right that ur a baseboy. ur whole style is fiending for lines
set up felt weak and too simple imo, but the punch was ehh. worded a bit off
u'd never get pussy. ur nuts havent dropped yet, u still a bitch
the only time we'd ever say jeff dunham is watching that ventriloquist
not feelin this alot
you gonna hear everyone repeat it. ur wacker than others
but im not one to beat a dead hoarse. & i'd feel bad doing that to ur mother
its got a lil humour factor in there but the diss attempt itself is a bit weak tbh
got vets vouchin for me in LLL. i been dope from the beginin'
so i dont know what freon. i just kno he's huffin that if he thinks that he's winnin
better execution here, stronger hit.
vs
jeffry
I totally forgot about this battle - thats how important you are to me,
you couldn't stand out of a crowd like norbit in that spelling bee,
wording and the rhyme scheme went bad after the set up. felt this attempt miss here
im gunna leave him for dead while his body is left for dead in the middle of the street
you ain't the real bongkers, so ill make sure to body this fag, and drop this G,
the set up was awkward jeff. "...leave him for dead while his body is left for dead..." is weird readin, throws off the momentum a bit. also punchwise in the 2nd line, it was an attempt but a bit basic to me with creativity
hes callin me unintelligent, and ssayin that im stupid,
if i wanted a real match id hit up the real bongkers to show this lame some improvement
delivery felt forced/stretched..but it was a better attempt from other swings..still tho, didnt feel a sting in the punches
I come with fire on all cylinders and this heat i bring you can't match this,
ill sink this fag sailor have him jumpin for his life like the U.S.S. Arizona battleship,
i wasnt feelin this. again, it got too wordy and throws off the execution. you're usin too much filler that takes potential away from the sting...
This dude has no style, ill roast him like a pig like friday night bonfires,
hes just another whack from LB, get off this site your RB contract is about to expire
weak closer, didnt like the 1 syllable scheme u had in this bar. still tho, this bar lacked
verdict
thought bonkers took this on account of coming more directive with nameplays and punches, came with more attempts that landed more consistently.
i seen jeff try to form those ideas down in the verse but the execution wasnt on the same page as his concepts. most of your 2nd lines in there had filler words in there that prolonged the punch too much imo.
bonkers had a better flow, personal approach in this that made the drop more entertainin to read in my eyes. with jeff, it was goin warm to cold alot at times, it didn't stay persistent with stingers.
for those reasons...
vote-> bonkers
link-> http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...497/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...001/index.html
try to hit those links up when u got some time, keep elevatin to the both of you guys..peaace!
INFEKTED PENZ
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