I've got a deal for you

[Spoken Deity]

I’ll tell you what, let’s pretend that every time my jaw wrenched forward like a tectonic plate of hate, my hand gently caressed your face. I pulled you close and whispered in your ear, “I love you.”

Not to say one can bury every memory,
but the victor writes history, right babe?
So please, freely scribe a new story where sorrow
is existential, and I offer a hand of grace rather than
a fistful of hair.
We forget that

and I’ll forget you pulling me into the confession box like I can mend the relationship with Father God. You didn’t sacrifice, but broke the alaer with a sheer act of will, running back to the temple to wail at my feet.

I think I’ve got a shovel to start digging,
but do I bury the memory or just you?
If a spark starts a wildfire, then I burned this mother fucker down.
Guess it’s up to me to make bricks out of ashes.
I’ll build a fortified wall around your heart.
A heart, of course, that seeks only to rest in me.
We forget that

and maybe we can live ignorantly happy for awhile.
Let’s pretend I never had chaos fist burning
with lost memories. I can’t explain what swelled up,
Love, they were just too abstract to interpret.
But maybe every act of violence was prophetic...
Some of your wounds may disagree,
but the fluids between your legs point to different bruising.
So I wouldn’t call it preemptive justice, but mild justification.

But I’ll make you a deal.
You remember me as a husband with a loving touch,
and I’ll recall you only staying out late with me.

[unadored]

This was a great. I read your piece from lastweeks PS and remember thinking about the powerful images you create and tbh this is a step forward. You writing isn't over polished and you can tell it's from the heart, you are delving into other people's thoughts and re-creating a memory I have buried, this allows me to connect to the writing much more.

[Nika Subin]

I'll be honest, I straight up loved it.

You had strong and creative metaphors to elegently phrase what happens to be rather crude and not nice ways of behaving. Your Moloch line threw me for a loop, but I'll be sure to look that word up later. I have words I like to use myself, and I like it when a person uses just exactly their words to express themselves. I liked the shovel line for it's instictual metaphorical sense. But at the same time, the descriptive language of sparking wildfires with the juxtaposed crudeness of mother fuck.

And then, not just what you wrote, but how you wrote it. Your very matter of fact cadence to this just flowed utterly smooth. That's something special right there. But for it to end with what it ended with...

...it described one whole world. Then it reaches all the way around, and introduces the other side. In which it produces a picture of... we... saying, "Hey, OK, I haven't exactly been nice, but neither have you. Can't we just sit here and choose and decide to let live the past and work together to create something spectacular?"

I just, really honestly relate to that on a lot of levels. But to also make it into a work of art, is just... I love it.

[Madbeats]

I really dig this too. It is so true about pretending to forget about certain things. Those things are always there under the surface. But we can choose to move on and forward. Takes 2.

[ItoldUIwasFat]

great post man..

i get a back an forth from this i dunno if that was how you intended it to be read but that how it felt for me. But it feels like you are or the character is having a conversation with him or herself. it feels like some one coming to terms the mistakes they have made and learning to cope with those facts...so that they maybe be able to live a normal life...or atleast move on from the strife of their past.....thats what i got from it, if im wrong i apologies.

the way this was written was very welcoming bruh...i tend to talk like this..not exactly like this but i like being straight forward and to the point and i never like to sugar coat shit..and this had that sense of...here it is, here we are, the past is the past and lets move on...

loved the language to this..man your style of writing is completely different from any one else on here and i loved that, i can read your stuff and not worry about seeing something that i have seen already. very refreshing and well written bruh..keep posting

[abiona]

Fuck.

The last lines. Don't have much to say about this - those lines were a poem on their own.

There's a masculine vulnerability in this. Enjoyed the tension of it. If that makes sense.