INFINITE (age 23)
I got the technique
to wreck beats,
directly
inject speech
that'll make your head leak
if your intellect's weak
cause' I'm the motherfuckin' chief MC
on a frequency
that you'd need to be
an alien entity to see
and I can extend a fist
to your battle league membership
and dismember it
with Einsteinian levels of cleverness
SLIM SHADY (AGE 25)
I just smoked so much crack
I threw up, ate my own throw up, jacked
off to my own nutsack
then showed up at
my own concert screamin' "your flow sucks" that's
why people say I should grow up...nah
I'd rather use meth, shrooms and weed
until I'm posted up in the restroom sweaty
barfing like a jet ploom
when I ingest too many
and if you think I'm too high to molest you, Betty
just step into the next room, and see
if you can get you any
and if any rappers disses me, I'll just pole-
-vault with a flying kick to the skull
and staple his foreskin to his butthole
MARSHALL MATHERS LP ( age 26)
you might see me joggin', you might see me walkin'
you might see me thrusting my cock in
a rotten
concoction
of haggis and hog in-
-testines, cloggin'
my noggin'
with pot and
oxycontin
or sticking my ass out the window, shameless
flashing my anus
and listening to macklemore playlists
on eighty six cocaine hits
while I arm wrestle a gay fish
with eight dicks
I'm still straight pissed
EMINEM SHOW (age 28)
I'm so sick of being rich and famous
I'm ready to swallow a frickin' paint chip
I frickin' hate this
if you diss me you'll kiss the pavement
I wanna fly away in Canibus's spaceship
cause' I'd rather listen to his grating voice than listen to critic's statements
plus my mom is such a fake bitch
she takes six
different drugs then sues me just for sayin' it
ENCORE (age 30)
I pooped my pants
then I farted and did a dance
my lyrics used to be advanced
now I rap like a plant
and hey
dr. Dre
is it gay
to play
dick swords with Santa on a christmas sleigh?