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Thread: Innocent Eye's (A childs struggle with divorce)

  1. #1
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Innocent Eye's (A childs struggle with divorce)

    (Opening Hook)
    Look…Watch those tears fall
    From innocent eye’s…
    A pain deeply embedded
    In her heart and in her mind…
    A child starving, not from hunger
    But from family ties…
    Another Soul forgotten
    Through the shuffle of time…

    (Rap)
    Her present’s in a mess
    And her future’s in distress
    It’s time to put this all to rest
    And do for HER what’s only best
    Feel the struggle in her mind
    Taste the sorrow of her time
    Responsibility yours and mine
    And a hatred redefined
    She's acting out and crossing lines
    Can’t you see this are you blind?
    While our daughters heart is crying
    No we can not keep denying
    Cuz inside I know she’s dying…

    (Closing hook)
    Listen…Hear those broken dreams
    Lost to sobering cries…
    Her innocence is stolen
    Not considered a crime…
    Hear the sorrow, hear the anguish,
    Thinking love is just a lie…
    A world upside down
    Happiness she can not find…



    This was just a short piece I worte after having a conversation with my daughter. I have a degree in child devlopment and seen the conflict in her eyes. I used this song to approach her Mother in a way that only emotion could. I put every ounce of emotion into the recording and sent it to My X. She got the message without argument and we have been working at healing the damage our seperation has caused our daughter. Things are getting better for her (Destinie) now.

    Bounce....
    Last edited by Bounce; November 7th, 2003 at 01:50 PM

  2. #2
    LadyWun
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    Its good to have a gift to let out your emotions. It was a very good read, their isn't much that I can say about it. It could have
    been better with a stronger vocabulary, but it's a song so it came
    out well without. The structure was great and the way it was
    said left much to the imagination. Keep Writing.

  3. #3
    .:LadySage:.
    Guest
    you can tell this piece was from the heart
    that's all that matters
    being able to recognize and try to better the situations you are in yourself and the ones you put others through is real good

    "Listen…Hear those broken dreams
    Lost to sobering cries…
    Her innocence is stolen
    Not considered a crime…"
    ^This line had the most impact on me.. i felt it
    nice drop

  4. #4
    Banned Dios de Hip Hop's Avatar
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    ^^to your sig if you think of music in your brain so that shit aint right.
    .you have urself for audience.
    and nice peace.

  5. #5
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    this was a nice read, although it was sad, it held alot of emotion, alot of pain and perhaps some anger.

    this is a piece that i would love to hear in audio

    the flow was nice, and i liked the short structure, and seeing as this piece was meant more for message and getting feelings across it will cover up an ything that might not be up to standard, but i cant find anything. i think the vocab was better in this piece left simple.

    this piece was felt, you have a gift in getting feelings across. good luck with the x and Destinie. i saw pics of you and her in the memeber pics made me think very highly of you, and i can tell how much love you have for her, keep care.

    ~Tera~
    DONT HATE
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  6. #6
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Thanks to all taking time out of your day to leave reply's. You can be sure they are well appreciated, I look to you all elements to aid in my elevation. Much respect to everyone of you.

    It was meant to be a simple and to the point, I was not trying to get the main reader (my X) confused as to my message. It hit home loud and clear, exactly what I wanted. I can be complex when it's needed, but in this case it was not a factor.

    Filed thnaks for your observation, as you suspect, my daughter is my life and breath. Without her there is no reason for me, I have such a wonderful relationship with her, it brings tears to the eye's of those who see us together. She is everything and then some to me, I only live to provide her stability and guidance, a true blessing in my life for sure. I
    m glad you took the time to look at the pictures I posted of us. I hope you got a chance to look at pages 4 and 5, I think that's were more pictures are. Well thanks for you time and kind words.

    Much love and respect,

    Bouncer

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    We can use all the views we can get, please support the Father/Daughter movement in hip hop. Do us a favor and post on your Facebook walls and such. Thank you


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