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Thread: Soft Focus: The Weathers Art

  1. #1
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    Soft Focus: The Weathers Art

    Replied To: Deva, Ace Of Spades, Robo

    Winter
    A dark silent walk home I glance to see the beuatiful trees glow
    Remarkable the vision after the storm layed a blanket of snow
    Trapped in this peace of mind of the soft focus of the evils illusion
    Sparkling drops of snow eazing my mind putting rest to confusion
    It's cantagious I could stare at the mysterious eye candy all night
    An never feel i've had enough, It helps my ego..believe i'm alright
    Who would have thought just a walk could be a helpful therapist
    Take away the evil stop you from going and slitting your wriste
    Eyes feel focused staring at how the ecosystem actually works
    The winter is so precious maybe it's because of jessus's birth

    Spring
    The year is changing like the baby who was born in december
    Gods cryin rain to wash up snow another season to remember
    Paralyzen hate with waterfall of lust that begins to prove love
    You sit and hear the angels play with the thunder from above
    Puddles left in the ground from the rain storm...nights perfection
    You stare in the dew of the damp leaves to see your reflection
    Unparishable the items on the trees that begin to slowly sprout
    The lakes begin to flow hard and you see fishermen netting trout
    This season is another blessing indisguise from powerful angels
    We pray to the keeper of earth to show we're forever thankful

    Summer
    Inflatuated by the power from the sun and the bliss handed
    Down in rays lettin flowers bloom an migrated birds be landed
    Animals awake from hibernation morning you hear birds churping
    Look out side at the surroundings and see everythings working
    From the smallest insect to the largest bear summers majestic
    With a symphany of sounds in the morning leaving us goin hectic
    Wake up a little early so you see the sun go down feel the sunset
    Open yours eye like flowrs see summer is beuatiful...no regrets
    Heating up the water so our race can swim and enjoy pleasure
    Another season change that was opened up golden treasure

    Fall
    The temperature starts to fall similer to the leaves on the trees
    See the animals packin up an birds gettin ready tobe diseased
    Flowers being drownded in rain rivers start to have a light ice
    A sheet so thin but sets the mood just right an for know price
    Covered in leaves and mud from a little river on your property
    You can tell the seasons talken to you by the rain fallen promply
    Trust this season will come back with more stormy weather
    Rain drenching ya close fog stallen your journy..anything better?
    This is special in its own little way everything is a young waterfall
    Maybe this is actually why they declare this fallen season..fall

    The Art
    Seasons can't cure the blind but they help them feel there way
    Give a right purpose similer to thoughts on why christians pray
    Showing different pictures from rivers to snow on the trees
    Incredible it's so blissful could take away the air you breath
    Take a glance around you and feel the mystical painting it draws
    Deserves an aplause for many ways it leaves your eyes in awes
    Doesn't use a paint brush a pad it simply uses it's suroundings
    Tangles vains around trees leaving certian remarkle findings
    This is the portrate of life a daily picture that'll never depart
    Helps your insight rain snow fog mist all a beuatiful art
    Last edited by rule; December 13th, 2003 at 11:33 AM
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  2. #2
    J*Miles
    Guest
    tight shit dawg keep yah ead

  3. #3
    MD_killa
    Guest
    Yo ... Beef set aside ... no matter what the beat...

    this shyt was tight fa sho dunny's... well at least the first one was winter... but overall shyt was on point an hittin the target... good spit... now

    *back to the beef*

    YALL ASS'S SUCK

    Caesar on3

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Spike Sanders's Avatar
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    YO RULE THIS IS HOT NIGGA, I LIKED THE CONCEPT OF IT.
    YOU FLOW,VOCAB,MULTIS, WERE ALL GOOD IN THIS.
    A 8.5/10.
    I LIKED THE WINTER VERSE THE BEST.

    RETURN THE FAVOR AND DROP SOME FEEDBACK ON MY NEWEST OPEN MIC
    THE REBELION PT.2-REMIX
    THX,PEACE

  5. #5
    Spekta
    Guest
    This is a pretty good piece. Definately worth the time invested in writing it. I thought the first paragraph was excellent in structure, the picture it presented through metaphors, and flow.

    I started reading, not quite knowing what to expect, and was definately surprised in finding that the content is so vivid, and alive with imagery.

    I enjoyed the majority of the piece, especially the first verse: 'Winter', and the last: 'The Art'.

    I felt that 'Fall' could have been more refined in concept, as it didn't quite follow the same type of imagery as the other verses, sort of took me out of the mindset of the rest of the piece. I thought it could have been more "on point", having more to do with the theme previously set than "what I'm doing" in this time of year.

    Other than that, I have no more "constructive criticism" for you on this piece.

    Overall: 7.4

    Keep at it, this was some tight-ass work.

    Return tha favor and watch for mine.

  6. #6
    Banned
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    This was a really nice drop hommie. I was feeling the vocab, the subject matter, and the conisistancy of the flow. It was definently a good read, and you had alot of lines that grabbed my attention in there. You always droppin that ill shit, Nice work hommie...

    OUT

    -High Class a.k.a Confusion

  7. #7
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    Thanks uppen for some critiques
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  8. #8
    cr0nix
    Guest
    it was straight flow,wordplay,imagery
    i liked it
    8/10

  9. #9
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    thought the best part was the imagery....really got the feeling across....along with the structure n flow n shit....it really set it off.....nice drop interesting concept...keep up the good work man...pZ...
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  10. #10
    this was tight....real peice and the concept was bangin..... the vocab was nice in this and the best part was you knew what you were saying with the vocab instead of jus forging words in there..... good peice and keep elevating....pz
    [center]"i will put g's on your fitted like the negro league"-lloyd banks[center/]

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    it had good wordplay in the piece....nice multis and metas also. the flow never fell off and this was a dope piece

    9/10...great job

    can u please return the favour and hit up the openmics in my sig, thanks alot yo

  12. #12
    Banned
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    Yeah i agree with everyone this was a Good piece here....structure in this was good.....the flow in this was nice, it stayed on through out it i thought as i was reading it....vocab was good in this.....you had some nice multies i though...i liked the imaginary...overall a nice drop...keep at it.

  13. #13
    #1 Canuck BIZ.VICIOUS's Avatar
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    Very Good. Actually worthy of some serious recognition.


    Better than YOU.



  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    concept was hot
    flow was hot,structure was,and this isnt played
    9/10

  15. #15
    Ace king
    Guest
    Dis shit was off da hizzle fa shizzle




    9.5/10

    flows and all was tight main

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