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Thread: Rise Up And Read RB...Legendary...."I Always Leave My Lights On.."

  1. January 14th, 2004, 07:11 AM #1
    Orikle
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    Rise Up And Read RB...Legendary...."I Always Leave My Lights On.."

    This is a poem from my major work for my last year of school...A whole set of poems all based around this one character very concious of the mysteries of life which results in a condition of schizophrenia..provoked by alot of other elements throughout his existance...anyway...here is one of the major pieces in the collection so Enjoy...Just respect it I guess...

    This World Decieves Me & Laughs All In Its Initial Motion..
    If You're Distanced, Thank Your Creator, Your Pain In Livins Over..
    Animals Caged Within Hope, Should Pride Their Secluded Castle..
    Whilst I Shuffle To A Rat-Race, I Will Probably Fail To Master..
    This Life Is Not A Game, A Dice Only Fall 6 Ways..
    The Possibilities Are Endless, Therefore Can Not Be Classified..
    So Why Are People Saddened As To What They Can't Understand..
    I Kept Emotions Bottled Up, Its What It Means To Be A Man..
    Yet Life Isn't About You, Nor Me Or Any Other...
    Its Like Labelling Music As What Lies Behind An Album Cover..
    Whether Writtens Of Halo Scripts Or Creating Your Fable Twists..
    The Masses All Compete As To How Many Their Table Sits..
    Many Struggle To Find A Label That Fits..
    Hence, Them Paying Close Attention To Those That Wrap Their Gifts..
    Religion Takes Time, Which Sees It Neglected By Commercialism..
    The Worlds Of Middle Land, Seek To Un-Earth This Rhythym..
    As Where There Is No Other Source To Materials..
    The Hope Is Rested Upon The Figures Of Forces, Above Imperial..
    Yet Life Has No Meaning, Don't Try To Define...
    Don't Even Compare It, As You'll Have Nothing To Find..
    For You Can Not Personify, The Thing The Technique Derives From..
    I Can't See Why I'm Here, So I Will Always Leave My Lights On..

    Thankyou...Pz...
    Last edited by Orikle; January 15th, 2004 at 11:50 PM
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  2. January 14th, 2004, 05:20 PM #2
    Orikle
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    Upping This....Do NOT SLEEP...
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  3. January 15th, 2004, 12:43 AM #3
    Forlorn
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    i might just have to borrow this for my HSC, ver very nice i could say legend definately, u will have to show us more about this scizoprhenic man,

    Most original topic i have probably ever read while on rb, Dopeeness

    SHOW ME MORE

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  4. January 15th, 2004, 07:02 AM #4
    Castro XL
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    Im not a fan of poetry but I liked it................................................ .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ................................................
    Hottest Free Agent Holla at yah boy
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  5. January 15th, 2004, 06:29 PM #5
    Orikle
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    ^^Thanks For runing the thread you fucken homo...UPPING....
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  6. January 15th, 2004, 06:37 PM #6
    BaG oF SkILLz
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    Kept Emotions Bottled Up, Its What It Means To Be A Man..
    Yet Life Isn't About You, Nor Me Or Any Other...
    Its Like Labelling Music As What Lies Behind An Album Cover..
    Whether Writtens Of Halo Scripts Or Creating Your Fable Twists..
    The Masses All Compete As To How Many Their Table Sits..

    This was a very good piece..lot of inside feeling...Good poetry step could be used as a song..had a lot of ill content..uppin this piece
    Zero effects
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  7. January 15th, 2004, 06:39 PM #7
    Meks.
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    yea castro's gay.....
    i liked this peice a lot.....each line had alot of meaning, the rhyme sheme was good.....
    the topic was interesting...you stayed consistant with it Most of the time......
    could have better structure, but it's fine for this piece...your vocabulary is broad, and it showed....i like your metas....i lied the piece overall it was great.......i guess legendary i dunno.....i have no say in that......but good job either way
    KEep DrOpPiNg
    Oh, and peep "truth is..." by me, piecce
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  8. January 15th, 2004, 10:20 PM #8
    Orikle
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    Yeah Cheers fellas..I'll hit yous up ay..Pz..
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  9. January 15th, 2004, 10:26 PM #9
    High Class
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    This was a nice drop. You had excelent vocabulary, and used it just right. I liked it, it was emotional and was a present day poem. You know how people try to copy the style of the past... Yea, you didnt do that. I liked it alot, but I dont know if its legendary. It does have a chance though, no dought about that one... Nice work...

    ( PLEASE RETURN THE FAVOR AND PEEP THE OPEN MIC IN MY SIG, APPRICIATED )
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