Straight from the heart...

[JamesJr.]

Death is certain and Life is not...
Faced with problems that have no solution
During a time when we have MILLIONS of solutions for useless, irrelevant shit
People just don't have (clear) perspective on or of reality...
It's like looking for someone you'll NeVeR find.!!

I feel so alone and lonely,
underappreciated, abandoned, overlooked, and misunderstood.
(Just like everyone else)


I feel like I am the only one that TRULY know me,
The only one looking out for my best interests,
The only one that guards my emotions

I feel like I can't depend on noone,
and no one can depend on me.

I feel the everyday mental, emoitional struggle.

I feel betrayed I feel sold out.

I feel like I'm constantly at war with myself.

I feel an eternal hunger for knowledge.

I feel like I
(we) don't have enough time to accomplish what we would like to...

I feel like I (we) are being distracted from a bigger plot
and unhumanly mislead to accept it.

I feel the majority (if not all) of the population's lives are too stressful.(Inflicted for total takeover)


~
~
Now I know who is behind it................

James Jr.
(Constructive) criticism wlecome.

[shawty"B"]

hey, this is a gud poem once you read it a few times, and you also have to understand what that person is going thru... i understand exactly wat ur sayin here. i would try working on structure and not havin so many spaces because the readers eyes dont want to keep trying to find where they're suposed to go, (that would be included in structure) and (this is just a suggestion) try puttin a rhyme scheme to this one in erticular and see how it comes out, it might be a lot betta than u eva thought u kud get it, id love to c this peica afta u improved it, keep it up!! return tha fava!

[JamesJr.]

Thanx for they feedback, if you have anything else to say go ahead....

Lingua Franca 3



Nothing is promised, but everything is offered.
Dreams are bright and vivid,
what I want is what I have to accomplish.
But what I want doesn't have to come promised.
It's a gift if I happen to come across it,
and can be taken a any given time.
Life can't bbe taken for granted,
you're granted life to take advantage.
People are dying trying to live, take it got damn it.

I pray for forgiveness for my sins and embrace my salvation.
If I were to live this again, I'd live it with positive prespective and treat it precious.
Nothing in this world is more sacred than humanlife and intelligence.
The Two precious gifts,
can not be duplicated or created.
Everything in this world could turn in to paper weight,
in a NY minute, value drops faster than the DOW.
If that would any of us be satisfied with how we managed our time
and how we treated people close to us and innocent strangers.
Or would we realize we're mad at the wrong people for the wrong reasons.

Did you mean like that?
"Shawty "B"

You can see the other posts I have done, if you'd like.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=110858


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111490

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=1150366

James Jr.

[Lyrical MC]

yo james jr good verse.keep it up.....work on da punches tho....try and make it rhyme tho bro....u aint bad for a newb
PLZ VOTE ON ME BATTLE:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=110860

[Verbatim]

nice drop, nice emotion that got put into this, i could relate to some of it, Had a basic type flow to it, vocab wasn't to bad, and structure coulda been better, but it's sall good, nice drop tho, kept me interested,
keep droppin

peace

[Spoken]

i like how this sounds, it was simple put but a strong topic, and you showed emotions well throu this piece. i found it had a good flow, and simple structure. but the main focus of the piece was the message, and you did a good job telling it how you see it. nice piece.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

[shawty"B"]

yeah james, like that..............that 1 was madd gud, i liket it alot!!!!!!!!!!!, keep it up thats a great peice

[Brethren]

Keep up emotion, you did a good job with voacbulary, when you do this

I feel so alone and lonely,
underappreciated, abandoned, overlooked, and misunderstood.
(Just like everyone else)

^^^ It catches the eye, draws readers in. I liked how you did it, and good job only doing it once (literature). Good poem, something others can relate to.

We may battle again later, but I might battle one of my friends, so I might need to keep a battle open. Vote on others battles, ask to return the favor. Karma, yo.

Good drop, keep coming

[Xey]

Life can't bbe taken for granted,
you're granted life to take advantage.
People are dying trying to live, take it got damn it.

Truth i hear truth ringing through. I'm feelin that and takin it to the grave, i'm not too fond of the blasphemy. You get a little off of the subject at times, not too much, but just enough to notice, but this is the work of a genius.