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Thread: SS: Spilled Milk...

  1. #1
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
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    SS: Spilled Milk...

    There really is no point in crying.. Over something as pety as this
    No point in looking back...
    ... Why bother to reminisce
    Accidents cant be helped you know.. Forgone conclusions that just occur
    Is it a mistake that dogs bark...
    ... A mistake that cats purr
    No, everything is here for a reason.. It happens just as God wanted
    Is it an accident that we see aliens...
    ... Or we think houses are haunted
    If mistakes where not made.. There would be no room for learning
    You could not get one over...
    ... There would be no table turning
    Forever stuck in the same place.. Not going anywhere at all in life
    Might aswell be stationary...
    ... Thrown aside like the sheath of a knife
    Trapped inside nothing.. Helpless in the fact that we cannot survive
    Like we cannot give out, only take in...
    ... Like a broken CD drive
    Accidents are what divide us.. It is what seperates us into groups
    So consider yourself lucky...
    ... Next time you hear somebody say oops
    If the world was as one.. Then life would be boring and bland
    It would just bring more chaos...
    ... With nobody in command
    A free-for-all on the planet.. Would be every man for himself
    Sure there would be conflict still...
    ... But we would be the same like items on a shelf
    Is it an accident that poor people use cotton.. Rich people use silk
    But if you think about it...
    ... Where would we be if we couldnt spill milk

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  2. #2
    Whos crew you in?

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  3. #3
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    is this for the new week... hmm... you carried the topic pretty well.... my sorta structure, just a bit more consiatant, but in a poetic way, which i aint keen on..... but aint looked who you against so dunno whats going, but looks decent with some nice wording aspects..... you know, aint gonna go into play n shit.... good luck with it... nice
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  4. #4
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    good job with the topic...I don't like your structure though...Interesting aspect..

    Good Stuff..Vocab was pretty good and I just wasn't feelin the structure/flow..

  5. #5
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Hmm..this was okay..I'm going to actually give you a reply for a change..
    I can see from your OM's that you are trying to focus on the imagery more than anything..which is a must for a good topical writer...but your flows are very choppy!
    you have a unique structure,which works for you..but at times it's a bit hard to follow...your descripiton isn't all there yet..but I'm confident that you will improve on these sections....

    P.S-I'm light years ahead of you<-Really.. <-Don't let these chumps who says you are good get to your head...<-I use to do that..Until I realized for me to earn the respect I had to up my game...peace...

  6. #6
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlazeCity
    Whos crew you in?
    Soft Focus... Hence the "Soft Focus" in my sig...

    Thanks Dev... Im against Trapt Wit this week... Should be fun... ...

    Pen... Im what a would consider OK... Not good... Just better than most in OM... Im OK damnit!

    I'll get at you on AIM soon enough once a download it again...

    Uppin for more feedback...

    Pz...

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  7. #7
    Stuck Being Ill Cata_Strophix's Avatar
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    i liked this piece structure was nice and easy to read ---flowed nice and you stayed on topic for real...and didn't venture off in to butt-fuck egypt ..keep droppin dawg i'll be sure 2 peep some more of ya shit

    1luv

    holla
    as i grow older my words become colder
    so i walk a str8 path and hope i dont need to look over my shoulder

  8. #8
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
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    Thanks for the comments...

    Upping... ^^^

    Pz...

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  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    you are becoming the imegery king round these parts i see. I'd consider you dope personally 1000 lyrical years ahead of 90% of the people here.

  10. #10
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    reply to two other open mics and post links to your feedback or this gets closed.
    thanks.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  11. #11
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
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    right..

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117322

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117669

    There ya go Maven.. ..

    Completely forgot those..


    You are a gentleman and a scholar, thank you
    -maven
    Last edited by Maven.; March 2nd, 2004 at 05:27 PM

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