Anti Earth.

[.Razah]

Teflon:
Such a dark tunnel, we drive our life in
Life is the likeness of the death of titans
Cus' such gifted human beings excel so happily
but some get life for trying to feed a familly
I traveled seven seas, also oceans and lakes
But unfortunately, still i was hopin for rain
Not condensation, but water to wash the sin
Becuz this whole life, i'v been lost in kin
Exceed emotions, essence envokin extreme potion
Death be potent, and seen in the next dream opened
Test me, i'm not your average society outcast
I'll outlast, when the world violently pounds back
Drownd and, not be around when, you wanna poke fun
I dryed out, tryed out, all the ways my hope runs
I'd try, why waste the breath, i just hate this mess
I'd close my eyes, but sleepings just a taste of death
Timid then twisted, toggled and shifted, bashed my earth
Souless snakes strike substantial surrounding..
..so shit.. it's anti earth..

Razah:
Strife is violent, tried to rebel but my type is silenced
Cry when dying, living happily is as likely as life of giants
I never usually let my emotions out, so I'm in awe now
Just watching my elevated hopes, fall down
Dropping this ink, but on a serious note.. just stop & just think
Of me at the ocean of happiness, as I watch from the brink
It's a cold cold world, must be why I run from winter
Tasted a hint of death, and now my tongue is splintered
Strangled & I'm leaving dazed, hoping to wither & die
In the picture of life, I'm entangled in a bleeding frame
I'm stunned to just see, a vision of me hung from a tree
It's running from me, it's fucked.. this must be a dream
Can't feel the heat from life's sun, hiding behind the moon
An inner feeling with in me, it's like I'm dying soon
Left soulless, it's inconsiderate.. don't laugh it hurts
Actually, I don’t care.. this is my perspective of anti earth

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118127
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118346

[$carface]

i was feelin dis piece a lot...u had good imagery...
vocab was okay coulda been betta but what i really liked was teh topic..
flow and structure was flawless...
dis isone of the betta pieces ive seeen today

hit mine up plz feedbak

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118288

[Slayer]

Yea same here i was feelin dat shit a lot, u got really nice flow, structure and its nice to read cos ya handle the lines and rhymes really well.

[UNDEAD.]

yeah dat was some good shit i saw wat image u were creating all in all pretty good keep up da good open mics.

[.Razah]

cool

[spokenoh]

Teflon's verse was better because it had better flow, better imaginery, and had some nice multies. Razah's flow was fine at first but it seemed to fall off. Both could improve with metaphors and wordplay...either way, it was fine.

[Apoc]

yoo, this was ill...
I was feelin both of yall's good imagery, flow, and structure..
were u at in chi?
im in humboldt park, orig from cabrni green, get at me

[doesnotexist]

Yee this was pretty good, I liked Teflons verse better tho, but both is tight.
Flow was good and u could see what u were talkin about so good shit.
But u could use more metaphors or wordplay and punches.