Therapeutic Remedy

[Mesmerize]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=131156
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=130980


Therapeutic Remedy

Profuse thoughts intertwine my mind
Abused ability to define chaotic cogitation
Articulation becomes vague at times
Immense feelings of psychotic frustration

This infection has turned a new direction
Draining from my hand
I reach for a pen to write my reflection
Pain from which it stands

Discoveries of what swims in thoughts
Cannot always be verbalized
It’s an esoteric process, thats not taught
Brought but not transferring right

Distorted feelings are revealed
Strength and knowledge ascend
Pain and sadness are healed
It can become your closest friend

Manifested characteristics that have been concealed
Slowly come to a descend
Pick up the pen again, to patiently amend
With my mind, the hand contends

As I stare into this paper, it seems so pale
As the sun cascades upon it, it creates a veil
Reminiscing a mirror with a deeper reflection
I see inside my soul, the pathway to perfection

[Mesmerize]

upping.....feedback please

[Telekinetic]

Really nice style mez. Its sad it's being slept on.

[Stryk9]

Yeah i liedk the style too i though it flowed really good and didnt sack any meaning for rhymes the imagery was nice and vocab was advanced.
I liked your last stanza and the "pathway to perfection" finisher
really ended well\
if you vote on battles could you check my crazy flow battle?

[Mesmerize]

thanx........upping

[ILLusions]

What can I say? From the first line, I was drawn in. I dunno why, but it just grabbed me.

"Manifested characteristics that have been concealed
Slowly come to a descend
Pick up the pen again, to patiently amend
With my mind, the hand contends"

Key line, good work.....people need to read this

[Mesmerize]

Thanx man, much appreciated from the ones who dont sleep *cough *cough, lol

[Mantra]

Wow, this was good...i liked it alot
everything about it was nice...i wish i could be more
constructive but there's not much i can really say
as far as criticism...i dunno i guess you could have
been a bit more descriptive, emotion wise, and the theme's
not the most original, but besides that good job
im glad to see your becoming such an active writer
and participant within the crew...keep it up
pz.

[Mesmerize]

Thanx Ada.....upping

[Mesmerize]

upping.......feedback please? anyone?

[shawty"B"]

i liked this alot....it had real good emotion in it....the flow was real good and it draws you in in the very begining....there was also nice vocab in here....

..........fav part...........

As I stare into this paper, it seems so pale
As the sun cascades upon it, it creates a veil
Reminiscing a mirror with a deeper reflection
I see inside my soul, the pathway to perfection

^^that ended this really well

keep droppin

....bless

[Content]

Creative insight what the pen writes is magnificent

What your pen wrote was magnificent
and you have to appreciate someone who actually
puts time into whatey choose to write no matter
how they're feeling at any time with any situation

well done

[Mesmerize]

upping

[Mesmerize]

up....

[TaintedGypsy]

Damn ma...You got mad vocabulary...I scrolled thru most these poems just to see more of your work...Very nice drops...Both that I've seen so far help with my SAT scores...But besides that you have a lot of talent and your art shows that...