5-10 lines
no d/r
no cheating
no crew votes
spit 10 mins after check in
lets get it started
Tha-Joka
Ghostrider
5-10 lines
no d/r
no cheating
no crew votes
spit 10 mins after check in
lets get it started
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Ghostrider
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checkin in
now y do ghsot show up juss to be blown away
come on now u kno u cant beat me not ever and not 2day
put tha ghost in a container and keep em contained
its crazy cuzz hes juss fake his life is liek his skills sustained
id drop a verse and have ya soul purified and excorcised
maybe then ull be ready taht is afta ya been Joka-cised
u can consider me a legacy like Jay-z u see my avatar spirit
consider this done cuzz the truth done spoken and spitted
and while ya in line 2 hell u can tell Satan Joka did it
not my best by far
im ashamed of thsi one
Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
90% How You React To It.
checkin in..........................................
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Ghostrider
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ayo check it........
why this dude on the front,tryin to spit,he betta be worried about his momma ridin my dick//
u call ya self tha-joka cause ya rhymes is that,i'ma make ya ass feel special, like retarded kids wit hard hats//
try to say that your the best,man nigga please,i'll have ya on knees like sluts in the street//
bury u in a mini skirt all ya need is ya weave,this battle was over from the start,i'm bout to win wit ease//
u can kiss the game good bye like jada,cause it's ova,u prolly stay bitin rhymes u need to retire like hova//
if u had a flip mode,u still couldn't busta rhyme,cause ya shit is weak, it will take u a years to write just one line//
this rhyme wasn't to sick just enough to beat ya,i'll cum in ya face,man it was a pleasure to meet ya..................
this shit was weak as fuck
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Ghostrider
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man ur runnin a lil over time man shoulda done wut i done anyways do ur best
Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
90% How You React To It.
uppin
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Ghostrider
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uppin
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Ghostrider
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yo mane some advice is dont listen 2 these critics man tryin 2 make teh site how they wnat it man rap is rap aiight man im only here 2 entertain them man id rip anyone if it was verbal u needa keep ur structure small man nah do wat u wnat man
Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
90% How You React To It.
uppin
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Ghostrider
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hall of shame material...terrible battle joka spit all this wack shit omg....then i thought easy win for the other guy then he comes in with no structure and spits wackology....
hard battle to vote since both guys came so wack but i guess joka gets it with a little bit of structure .....yeh no punches in this structure takes it...the other guys verse was hard to read , and what not
v/ joka
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ok it wasnt the best battle but i wont be as harsh... lets break it down...
1st jokas verse
''now y do ghsot show up juss to be blown away
come on now u kno u cant beat me not ever and not 2day''
this line had flow. i was not really a puch just a filler. after the line ending in blown away it is kinda hard to make the second line finsh him off as you already did by sayin he blown away...
''put tha ghost in a container and keep em contained
its crazy cuzz hes juss fake his life is liek his skills sustained''
Too many containers. this line to me felt like you were trying too hard to use big words. rewritten it could have been ''put tha ghost in a jar and keep em contained, its crazy cuzz he juss fake like his skills are substained''
''id drop a verse and have ya soul purified and excorcised
maybe then ull be ready taht is afta ya been Joka-cised''
again you trying to use too many big words with purified, exorcised. ya made up word joka-cised i see what ya trying to do but i dont think you a strong enuf mc yet to oull it off.
''u can consider me a legacy like Jay-z u see my avatar spirit
consider this done cuzz the truth done spoken and spitted
and while ya in line 2 hell u can tell Satan Joka did it''
3 lines dont rhyme. you need to keep em the same number. thats why its usually 'measured' in bars. a bar is 2 rhyming lines so 6 bars is 12 lines (u prob no this but just explaining as i dont know how elevated you are) you should just have chopped the last line out or finished it off like ''and while ya in line 2 hell u can tell satan joka did it, when u explain what you have done say 'satan please forgive it' (lame ass line but i cant be arsed to think of real material) so keep ya lines evenly numbered AND if you can with and even number of syllables
over all you need to elevate as a whole try to use more words YOU would use in the real word and dont try too hard with ya big words with elevation and practice you could do alot better...
and now ghosts verse...
''why this dude on the front,tryin to spit,he betta be worried about his momma ridin my dick//''
ok here you tryin to be personal about his momma but ya momma on my dik usually are played try to avoid them unless you can think of summet really good to do with her... like you actually DID fuck his mum and could say what her name is what her wall paper is etc
''u call ya self tha-joka cause ya rhymes is that,i'ma make ya ass feel special, like retarded kids wit hard hats//''
i actually liked this line cos of the retarded kids with hats that made me laugh so you winning from here. the first part was a bit of a let down but i think u ended it quite good
i didnt like this line at all really the rhyme was please and knees and they werent matching in the same point in sentences so id have tried to re arange this a little or change street like ''try to say that your the best,man nigga please,i'll have ya like the sluts be always on they knees//''
''bury u in a mini skirt all ya need is ya weave,this battle was over from the start,i'm bout to win wit ease//''
this had rhyme and flow but was a weak punchline ifyou are trying to get at his moves like boxing in the weave bit you should have carried on the theme into the next line to make it better
''u can kiss the game good bye like jada,cause it's ova,u prolly stay bitin rhymes u need to retire like hova//''
this was ok again, its a punch but not a ko puch but keep tryin
''if u had a flip mode,u still couldn't busta rhyme,cause ya shit is weak, it will take u a years to write just one line//''
THIS had the begging to a great line i like the flip mode/busta rhyme bit it was good but then it dissappeared you should have really carried on and worked with the flipmode thing mebe use others in tha filp mode squad or a title from a song (i dont know if that would be classed as biting tho on this site???) this could have been your strongest line
DOnt get me wrong i aint tha illest emcee and i dont think i am just because i broke it down. i can see potential in some of these line and i thought just writing what normally get written isnt going to help anyone elevate so i tried to help em out. if they listen hopefully they may win a i feel pretty proud that id sent em in the right direction. id like to see more break downs like this on other battles IF you see chance to help them elevate
SOOOOOO vote goes to...... Ghostrider for his punches. keep working on them man you have potential
oh shit after all that i cant vote??????? man WHAT? aww shit i need 100 posts to vote
uppin
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Ghostrider
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aye mane lemme explain i use big words when im usin certain beats and sustained is kinda hard 2 explain its like a locked skill or summin and purified goes wit excorsized an old word ive used or almost used and anyways u get it
uppin.......
Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
90% How You React To It.
joka=not so good battle......even though you had ok punches ive seen better from you.....whats with the spacez....you brought alittle vocab......content and wordplay was absent thou...
best bar=
id drop a verse and have ya soul purified and excorcised
maybe then ull be ready taht is afta ya been Joka-cised
ghostwriter=umm elevate to the extreme...// this plus spaces is like the maximum elementry level of rappin...no hate.....flow was ok but you need to get betta in multiz wordplay....content and vocab..
bestbar=
u can kiss the game good bye like jada,cause it's ova,u prolly stay bitin rhymes u need to retire like hova//
vote=joka
please return the favor wit some honesty
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