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Thread: You/your....

  1. #1
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    You/your....

    YOU always looked down on me...YOU, YOU, it's all YOU
    Demoralized my spirit with all the harshness YOU threw
    Played catch with my soul, and sadly I started believing
    That I was insignificant, and thats a horrible feeling
    YOU mock the way I look, YOU laugh at the way I speak
    And YOU poke fun at my race, I'm not white so I'm weak?
    I jus stood in the corner smoking, but the light revealed my fright
    Lung's black I didnt wanna see YOU, so I exhaled night
    The sight of YOU disturbs me, and I wonder if maybe YOUR saying the truth
    Am I really good for nothing, cause I'm a minority and a youth
    All the headlines and top storys, in all the newspapers seem to agree
    But what YOU don't understand, is that those headlines aren't me
    I could tell YOU "Don't stereotype" But it would fall on deaf ears
    Cause YOU only hear, what YOUR brain wants to hear

    Picture this, a dark alley with trash littering the ground
    The streetlight fades in and out casting shadows all around
    An open dumpster against the wall, and a body halfway in
    Face is face down, looking towards where his new life will begin
    The outskirts of the ghetto, three gunshots in the back
    What do you assume, I bet it's that the murderer is black
    Look at the fuckin headlines, when a white kid kills someone
    "Nice white varsity athlete gives in to peer pressure and drugs"
    You blame video games and movies, cause white people aint criminals
    You always blame something else, and it makes you feel better yo
    Aint nothing ever your fault, yall can't ever take the blame
    Your rules and your game, where I'm forced to play
    Now same situation where the killer is of colored skin
    "Asian gangster compromises innocent lives in a street shootout again"
    "Black drug dealer kills one as drug deal turns sour"
    "Mexican gang brawl ruins store and kills innocent bystander"
    The media skews images, and feeds into Your very fears inside
    Land of equal oppurtunity? We got more of a chance to die

    So FUCK YOU YOU piece of shit! I aint like YOU think bitch
    I'm automatically trouble? Cause my first language isn't English?
    YOU say we never change, same old shit and nothing new
    But YOU have to give us a chance, and then we'll surprise YOU
    I'm finally fed up! I swear next time someone gives me a look man
    ...Nah I aint violent, There that disproves everything YOU believe in
    But Fuck you and you and you, but most of all especially YOU
    Cause YOU have no idea, what its like to be me dude
    YOU know who YOU are, but do they see YOUR face?
    Do they know what it's like to be spit at in the face
    Or kicked out of stores, cause people expect me to steal
    And being randomly searched, cause I'm expected to deal
    I could give YOU a name, but I must be weary of backlash to me
    So for now I'll just call YOU.........................American Society



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  2. #2
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Last edited by Laureate; March 8th, 2005 at 06:09 PM
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  3. #3
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    You lazy fucktards
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  4. #4
    Banned chuck taylor.'s Avatar
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    Shit took me a while to read mayne.. but shit it was worth it.. i was feelin the topic.. flowed nice, and came out nice.. woRd..
    Cant really complain about anything on this peace mayne, i was feelin it..
    9/10

    Stay up homes..

    1

  5. #5
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This was a nice verse the topic was obviously something you really wanted to take your time on and get deep into the subject and you did.
    The structure and vocab were fine the flow needs work but the emotion and feeling in the words made the verses hot.

    Reply to this please.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176403

  6. #6
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    thanks......dont sleep
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  7. #7
    Art... K9_THESHIT's Avatar
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    first i want to say it was rasial.not rasist,rasial.ya spoken about the problems still lurkin near minorities and ya'r mostly right.i liked how ya used the "YOU" written in uppercase to empesize yar thoughts,yar hate...really helped to transmit the message mo clearly.the drop was good,ya expressed good yar own thoughts and was a fine read.i really felt this drop man.keep it up!

    please return the fav
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176263
    Def Poets Society

  8. #8
    Komatose
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    ay, that was some deep shit son. i was feeling it from top to bottom, very long but def good. thats some work i enjoy reading. nice job. if you could return the favor and vote on one of my battles id appreciate it.

  9. #9
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    i appreciate your work man its truely dope,i liked the new style man...if it even is a new style lol,thge emotion as usual; was dominant in this poem and made it more interesting to read,the imagery was decent also,but i felt this poem was made more for expression and emotion,so i didnt expect alot of imagery to be honest,,,this was a nice read man....

    sincerly
    Kay Oh Tic
    AI

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  10. #10
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone
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  11. #11
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    First true spoken word i've seen from you lyric, I gots to say I look forward to more. Very good read, I could see you emphasising and exaggerating certain words and their sounds, almost like you were doing this live. Good job on that and good job on this rant. The ending was done well, the only thing I can hate on is the fact that this should be an audio spoken word foo!

    You are a really solid writer man...

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    We can use all the views we can get, please support the Father/Daughter movement in hip hop. Do us a favor and post on your Facebook walls and such. Thank you


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  12. #12
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Thanks Bounce
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  13. #13
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    hell of a long piece but you replied to mine so in fairness..its was a good read man, like i said hella long but once i got reading it it actually seemed to hold my attention till the end, nice topic, this sort of thing is always good to do cause its an oppotunity to express some real raw emotion, and since thats what sells...i'd say your doing great with this style, keep it up...and you said you wanted to collab?
    Def Poets

  14. #14
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    What bounce said. Plus I already gave feed on this you dirty feed stealer...lol

  15. #15
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Liked it. felt the emotion. dont know what its like to be discriminated against but it must be a bitch. couldve sounded good as an audio track too. stay up

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176682

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