Poet Laureate #99

[Nique.]

I live life in a new dimension, so seemingly superstitious,
A breathing Christian with deleted scenes of Jesus' crucifiction.
Sinning with rampage, I put my pen on the damn page,
With intent of a healing process and Hip Hop's my band-aid.
So I rock to the tempo prepared with a sharpened pencil,
As my words draw out the flaws through my project window.
Sex, drugs, best dressed thugs, knowing the world's rough,
On corners with more liquor stores than Girls & Boys Clubs.
No helping hands not knowing that each pivot is dead wrong,
While praising the depth in music from every listen through headphones.
I constantly nod to the beat, always holding my steelo,
And every stanza's a cry for help as hope for my people.
Hoping to believe it, goals heightened to achieve it,
Name engraved forever, like writing in wet cement.
Cuz life is a construction site, workers and warning signs,
Every breath is a step to death and you're never armed in time.
But writing is my drug I keep it around as my fix,
Not knowing what the future held for me in two thousand and six.
Wonder how sour it gets when the clock ticks and the year's off,
In the next stage closer to death swallowing some smirnoff.
Avoiding the tunnel vision, knowing I'm deeper than you,
Fuck a mic as long as you're reading I know you're reading the truth.
Not in need of a booth, my ink soothes me in every way,
My heart is the beat I nod to, getting through everyday.

Jae Keeps:
Locked up, but not in the box, I got a shot of,
Raw luck, when hip hop popped, it was the cause of,
This life expanding, write life's demands and,
Type might through poetry, the trite lamentin',
At a time when stones were being thrown at my soul,
It helped me focus on my shoulders which were holdin' their own,
Supportin all my hopes and all the boredom at home,
So forcefully twisted it was contorting my bones,
Horrible tones, almost broke this porcelain dome,
But all those forces were soon on their course to a poem,
Tunes in a room covered in forties and bowls,
Helps it's course to my pen till I'm portly with flows,
Courting a hope, that maybe I'll get the green,
But it's my destiny to not let the green get the best of me,
So I invest in heat, verbal weaponry,
To bless this crevice that I rent from speach,
It goes deeper then the words of my rhymes,
Past all the hurtin' and the curtains that blind,
Working through disturbing verses, the dirt and the grime,
But the dirt spawns roses that'll flourish with time,
Surely I'll shine, without dark there's no light,
Purposely kind, cuz life's hard and cold ice,
So I bring hot spit in response to stop this,
Cuz the goal for my soul just taunts, it's dauntin',
So hard to see the light in the tunnel,
So I fight and I stuggle till I'm lifeless and crumble,
Why does bein down to earth lead to elevation?
How could pain and hurt ever lead to celebratin'?
Just a couple questions been plaguin' my brain,
That plus the demons I received almost make me insane,
I gotta keep faith that Jae will make it someday,
Cuz if I don't, I might as well lay in my grave,
So I'll be patient and wait, through all the hate and the pain,
Cuz if that doesn't happen, all the gain is in vain...




http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=263809

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=264120

[noncentz]

wow, i cant say much im to astonished.this was phenominol work i loved every inch of it .

[Tim]

have to say very deep and emotional piece about your feelings and what you are going through thats the kind of stuff i like very personal down to earth message i have to admit i havent really read any of your work this will surly make me start just the words you used to describe what you are feeling is great like

Sinning with rampage, I put my pen on the damn page,
With intent of a healing process and Hip Hop's my band-aid.

very good in describing what you are feeling here

please peep mine if you get a chance
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=264509

[Nique.]

Thanks. Rise.

[T.P.H]

yo dats baad yo propa emtion and shit yo nigue u from da east

[Richard Parker]

Working through disturbing verses, the dirt and the grime,
But the dirt spawns roses that'll flourish with time,

^ damn. that bar was amazing in its simplicity.


Nique: great job, it seemed like you were trying to work with a new style in a way.. this verse was more 'in your face' than the normal verse i see from you, which is fine.. less of the normal 'poetic' content in this one, but more comparisons that the usual reader is quick to grasp... ex: the cement line...given the message, it worked well for you.

Jae Keeps: obviously Nique knows who to write with. you have a very in your face style as well, thats all i can describe it as anyway. It kept me hooked, and you obviously have an excellent grasp of how to write a good metaphor. my only complaint is that I'm disappointed you didn't include more metaphors. but a very fine piece of writing, hopefully kids will take note of this.


nice work both of you

[Mystery~Murdera]

I live life in a new dimension, so seemingly superstitious,
A breathing Christian with deleted scenes of Jesus' crucifiction.

.... that's godly.... Seriously 2 of my favorite lines ever...
beautiful transition from wet cement to construction site
metaphor, too

Wonder how sour it gets when the clock ticks and the year's off,
In the next stage closer to death swallowing some smirnoff.
Avoiding the tunnel vision, knowing I'm deeper than you,
Fuck a mic as long as you're reading I know you're reading the truth.

i might be starting the "get niq a mic" campaign here soon... this is just rediculous...


________________________

Haven't read you before Jae but...

Type might through poetry, the trite lamentin',
At a time when stones were being thrown at my soul,
It helped me focus on my shoulders which were holdin' their own,

your piece really took off from there... you've got a great
flow and you're def a great topical writer. I look forward to
reading more of your ish.

[Edicius.]

sick flow, dope content..

No helping hands not knowing that each pivot is dead wrong,
While praising the depth in music from every listen through headphones.

At a time when stones were being thrown at my soul,
It helped me focus on my shoulders which were holdin' their own,
Supportin all my hopes and all the boredom at home,
So forcefully twisted it was contorting my bones,
Horrible tones, almost broke this porcelain dome,
But all those forces were soon on their course to a poem




*humps it*

[topher]

Amzing.I luved the smooth and easy going flow.The well based and complexity of your vocab and storyline kept the flow very well like that.The choice of your vocab was good,but i felt a few more multies woulda been better.I liked the emotion.It was very deep,and im a sucker for that type of stuff.The begining was good,and the way you ended it was very nice as well.Out of the most recent oms iv read this is probably one of the best 5 here.

Please check the Open mic: Different Direction.

[Nique.]

Thanks. Rise.

[Nique.]

fvhoehoafjeo.

[Po']

Long as fuck, but I enjoyed this a whole fucking shitload, the multies were your strong point indeed, the flow kept going nice and dope, no choppy'ness anywhere, just a great part on that, the structure was dope too, helped me follow along when i started getting towards the middle, so word. The imagiry was sweet, I meen like, the way you talk about this concept was totally perfect, the vocabulary was ok. No REAL big words, you can improve on that, but for the most part it was above decent on that aspect.

Overall, this was a great peice, liked it alot, maybe HoF worthy, I'll debate weather or not to myself. Good job this Niq. Im looking forward to seeing more from you in the future, keep it up, your good.