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Thread: Letter From A Ryder

  1. #1
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    Letter From A Ryder

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=269944


    [B]Letter From A Ryder-[/B]

    Sirens screaming, esas wailing—pierce the silence
    Rosa saw her vato getting shot up from the back.
    Maté saw her brother as he hit the rack…
    Running 2 the side of his fallin’ homie Spyder
    Watch—here comes Jefita…screaming from the side &
    Crowds, u’d think, would gather
    But the gente knows the drill—
    Back inside ur casa, when the bullets fly, 4real
    Innocent bystanders always have 2 pay a price
    U don’t wanna b the family hit on from both sides.

    I think they call it ‘friendly fire’ in the Forces
    But these streetz r the ruffest, the tuffest, u know it
    Nobody names the bullets, u just hide out from the Game
    Or u try with all u got 2 fight, but
    Retaliation is Its name.

    Life is coming 2 arrest u…payback is a bitch
    Hold tight 2 the shoulders of ur daughters—
    The Game we live just used 2 b 4 vatos
    Now we step up with the quickness
    We fulfilled the prophecies—products of the streetz
    Here comes all the homies,
    They pullin’ out their 9’s
    Jumpin’ in their rides…cruisin’ 2 the Other side.

    Here is where it all begins, here’s where it will end
    The sounds of crime, we live our lives around them.
    Somebody once said that ur bound 2 pay a price
    Livin’ with the cuete, growing up 1 life.

    Now it’s been an hour, the gente stands with power
    We all knew that it was over when the shots flew thru the air
    Nobody calls the jura, they say that their 2 scared.
    The way we live, the way we die—
    U live the streetz, u breathe the streetz…u’ll go out straight up soldiers.

    No one touches nadie 4 fear of their own lives
    Why end up a partner in the awful scenes of crime?
    In these streetz, no time 2 sleep
    We’re rollin’ 2 their side—now u’ll see pachuca’s ride.

    We’re strappin’ on our Glocks
    No need 4 a permit cuz our opposition’s shot
    The cuete burns our fingers, waiting 4 its cue
    A finger on the trigger from oppressor straight 2 u
    The shot will leave a bitter wind,
    Wherever it may blow…the only thing la raza trip on
    Is the other Barrio.

    As we fly down the 99, the homegirlz reminisce
    Sharing old luv stories, talkin’ ‘bout their kids
    Alma talks of pleasure mixed with pain
    A consistent combination…that which we all live in vain

    I remain in silence looking @ the stars
    Knowing what is coming, hoping they don’t fuck with ours
    And like b4 we’re damn near sure that here we’ve sealed our fate
    A failure 2 society…pulled over by the jura
    Now labeled failure 2 sobriety
    An affliction we all live…coaxed by drugs and crooked cops—
    Killin’ is our high.
    Livin’ life as it comes,
    Now ridin’ down avenue 5

    Searching 4 the G’s—the 1’s who brought old Spyder 2 his kneez
    Just cuz we wear mini’s don’t mean we don’t lock
    We hold 2 the fullest all that’s from our block.

  2. #2
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    Here's my 2nd link--

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=269113

    I'm new 2 RB & not sure how this all works.
    I'd like HELPFUL feed please...
    Gracias!

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! reincarnation's Avatar
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    This shit was actually nice jo, took a minute to understand the concept and flow but once i kept reading it easily came to a nigga. Shit was nice and i like how you put a lil bit spanish(i think) in there. This shit here was original nice jo. Keep writting jo.

    When you get the chance hit this joint up http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=268212 my latest shit 1
    Close dis shit:

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  4. #4
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Awards 1-2 Punch HW Champion Legendary Member Legendary OM OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion - Award Request Accepted
    This isnt really my type of piece top be fair, and I think it was the overall topic you went for that let you down. See, with pieces like this - you have to realise that similar stuff has been done by other users here, lots of times before. If you're going to attempt a piece like this, you need to have a great twist or something unexpected thrown in there to make it individual. There's definatly a flow there, which I picked up upon fairly easily. What I WILL say to you, is that you should work on your multies and overall rhyme-scheme. Not only will this improve your flow, it will up the overall technical side of your verses. Hit up the Help Desk forum and search around through the topical tutorials for more information on what I mean.

    Keep posting.

    Pz!

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! soberSEOULja's Avatar
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    eh to tell you the truth, even with a topic thats been told, i kind of liked the piece, beacuse the imagery was there even though the flow was pretty choppy most of the time. i liked the spanish words in there, i think it added some flavor to the peice, even though i didn't understand 1/2 of it....so that kind of took away from the meaning too....><...maybe some better word usage and flow could have made the piece better.....good job though mama citaaa...keeep posting
    seriously fuck all these kids with the "vote for me, i'll vote for you bullshit" You love textin, battlin, comin up with the vocab to really bust someone out? why cheat and ride each others nuts?seriously i see these niggas put up HONEST VOTES as part of their rules, then the same dickriders come and vote for em. you suckas aren't foolin anyone.....

    RB REC 1-0
    W/six miles

  6. #6
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    this was a pretty good peice...rhymes were good..flow was nice
    topic was cool...vocab and imagery could have been a bit better
    overall this was a nice read..pretty enjoyable to read......
    it was a pretty easy one too..overall this gets an 8
    keep it homie you got sum good skillz with sum potential..peace-

  7. #7
    Shit..WAzap brotha...realy gotta edmit, UR THA KING DUDE..UR THA KING...best rapper ever!!!..i kno ul slapp yall those bitches who tryes to rap than u ...GOT damn them... z ya
    Last edited by Nexus; February 7th, 2006 at 03:29 PM

  8. #8
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    Quote-
    "Shit..WAzap brotha...realy gotta edmit, UR THA KING DUDE..UR THA KING...best rapper ever!!!..i kno ul slapp yall those bitches who tryes to rap than u ...GOT damn them... z ya"

    ??????xcuse me, but what kinda feed is dis? how'd dis help me...??????
    i don't even kno how 2 take dis...

    Anywayz, i appreciate all the rest of yall's feed.
    even if i's new, yall still showin dat ur open 2 newb's
    So Gracias & yall let me kno if u's got any u wanna have chkd out -k-

    Adios!
    -Mari

  9. #9
    J.Christ
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    this piece i was not feelin at all, and if your a dude "latina" is not the word you wanna use partna my wife is puro and peruvian i should know, anyways bacc to this thread.
    Imagery i got the point but it wasn't nothin i would like at all. Even from a keystyle point of view this was not nice. Wordplay was off and you need to elevate on that even the beginning
    Sirens screaming, esas wailing—pierce the silence
    Rosa saw her vato getting shot up from the back.
    Maté saw her brother as he hit the rack…
    Threw me all off just because i can just think of how you sayin it and it sound weak as hell from my point of view .


    Shit..WAzap brotha...realy gotta edmit, UR THA KING DUDE..UR THA KING...best rapper ever!!!..i kno ul slapp yall those bitches who tryes to rap than u ...GOT damn them... z ya
    The fucc is he talkin about?!?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by J.Christ
    this piece i was not feelin at all, and if your a dude "latina" is not the word you wanna use partna my wife is puro and peruvian i should know, anyways bacc to this thread.
    Where 2 begin...

    1st of all,
    My mother is Puerto Rican & Dominican and my father was Mexican Aztec, which means that i have a REALLY GOOD clu bout what i'm writing in Spanish.

    2ndly,
    if i were a "dude" i would not b writing bout wearing "mini's" so if ur wife is REALLY puro peruvian, then u should take some lessons from her about OUR language b4 u start correctin me...

    Here's somethin' 2 get u started:

    Mariposa = Butterfly
    Latina = FEMALE
    Mini = SKIRT

    if u add those all 2gether i think u'll catch what i'm sayin...

    Overall, i probably woulda appreciated ur feed, but u came about givin it without thinkin about actually HELPING me improve...IT WASN'T REAL CONSTRUCTIVE, so if ur gonna post on my OM, plz b HELPFUL!!!

    "Quote:
    Shit..WAzap brotha...realy gotta edmit, UR THA KING DUDE..UR THA KING...best rapper ever!!!..i kno ul slapp yall those bitches who tryes to rap than u ...GOT damn them... z ya"

    & no--i don't know what the fuck he's talkin about but u woulda got dat had u read the rest of my most recent post...

    Gracias Y Adios!

  11. #11
    lyrical messiah
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    yo i like it i thought it was original. but a word of advice if you gonna speak spanish you should leave a key in the top so people will understand what your sayin cause some people don't speak spanish i didn't know what you sayin when it had those spanish words but i kept on readin. but you did ya thang so i ain't hatin. just keep at it ma peace out

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    Dope Lethal Lyricists
    hip-hop's finest souljaz

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    this my boo.......guess who it is

  12. #12
    lyrical messiah
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    oh yeah ma about j.christ he's just a bitch. he always posts in womens threads like that so don't pay that faggot any attention. he just think he cool when he really ain't i done had problems with him an he ain't bout shit but you did ya thang an he must be blind not to see that. so peace out ma

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    Dope Lethal Lyricists
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    this my boo.......guess who it is

  13. #13
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    i figured he was like dat cuz i just read somethin else he wrote--shiit
    gracias (Thank u) 4 all dis feed and yes Papi means Daddy but in a way like u say ma -k-
    thnx 4 da tip tho

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by big j da fat boy
    yo i like it i thought it was original. but a word of advice if you gonna speak spanish you should leave a key in the top so people will understand what your sayin cause some people don't speak spanish i didn't know what you sayin when it had those spanish words but i kept on readin. but you did ya thang so i ain't hatin. just keep at it ma peace out
    yeah i agree wit big j on this.. some words were in spanish & u shudda left a key or suttin.. stil yeah this peice was good ma.. seein as ur new i think this is really good compared 2 what other new heads post... stil yeah u can improve on ur rhymes, add some multies & be a lil creative.. but other than that i enjoyed readin this.. deffo would wana read mo' from u mami 2 see if u've improved...

    lmfao@ jchrist he's a bitch *he goes 2 eat a dik & die*
    i don't see him post he's shiit on here so he jus fukin hatin.. don't let that dikface bring u down aiite ma.. lol @ him sayin u male wen u mentioned mini's... 1
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  15. #15
    J.Christ
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    lol@ snypah , mybad mariposa, i seen ol boy calling you king & shit . threw me all off .
    and one more thing, i didn't peep the mini's
    Last edited by J.Christ; February 8th, 2006 at 11:27 AM

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