I Think About It

[past.elevation]

{Intro}
i got some shit i gotta get off my chest
so ima let it all out
check it

{Verse-1}
I got some shit on my chest that causes so musch stress
honestly i dont know why i think about it, i get in a mess
i have opinions but know one ever cares to listen
i can be a ass hole but only if im put in that position
my ambitions rise higher and higher as i let this pain go
i had a dream once about my death im gonna die slow
i often have conversations with myself, im goin insaine
i have so much to learn, knowledge is what i hope to gain
if i could take back my past i would do it in a nano second
lifes been nothin but painfull and i get drunk & high, so reckless
i cant pin point it exactly as i would like too i just wanna be alone
i cant stand it anymore i just wanna smash my cell phone
i get relentless call all day, i constantly arguee with myself
god shine your light on me please, because i think i need your help

{Hook}
i constanly think about it, i make indecisive decisions
i think about whats gonna happen why do i have these visions
i cant see nothing, not even my hand infront of my face
its cold, and dark i just need something to embrace

{Verse-2}
the way i see things, is the way i want em to be
i cant see why perfectly but i keep on argueing
theres no point to life, im just here to live and then die
im not gonna lie at night i still up in my bed just waiting to cry
no tears ever fall from my fearless face, tearless cheeck
my futur is so bleak, i dont want you to call me unique
i wanna be know as a leader, never followin my destination
i say things with out hesitation, fuck waitin, im tired of conteplation
why should i sit back and live life how you want me to live
by the age of 22 i'll end up havin at least 2 more kids
that would make 3, im not the perfect father but atleast im there
im in my kids life so call me a unfit dad cuz i dont even care
im not gonna stand for this bull shit much longer
how come right cant be more right but wrong gets wronger

{Hook}
i constanly think about it, i make indecisive decisions
i think about whats gonna happen why do i have these visions
i cant see nothing, not even my hand infront of my face
its cold, and dark i just need something to embrace
_____________________________
im workin on the rest i just wanna know what i can fix and work on with it feedback is appreicated greatly.
_____________________________
MY TWO LINKS
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...0&page=1&pp=15
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...02#post3977702

[DaMicSnatcher]

hey i liked it a lot..... 6/10 you have potential to do better though i can tell, so if you practice, you'd be 10/10....i like ur concept too

check out my open mic sometime

[lady_Desiree]

the flow was aight you couldve did better with this if you wouldve came with more verses to it and made it into a song maybe but as far as your creativity i think you put that together wella nd you dropped some good rhymes through out as well

[Jon]

Diffrent, not really feeling it. It seems that every OM you write looks like the lyrics to a song. The flow was alright, structure was meh, and wordplay was terrid. This was an ok drop, not the best, less then what I expected. You would get a 6/10 for this.

Keep dropin.
Check my newest verse (Prolly droped in 1-2 hours)

[past.elevation]

Diffrent, not really feeling it. It seems that every OM you write looks like the lyrics to a song. The flow was alright, structure was meh, and wordplay was terrid. This was an ok drop, not the best, less then what I expected. You would get a 6/10 for this.

Keep dropin.
Check my newest verse (Prolly droped in 1-2 hours)

ummm ive only dropped 1 om on this name and its because i plan on recording them soon

[past.elevation]

ok i added my second verse now what do ya'll think of it

[Doogal187]

i love the way you wrote the song
props to the verses both really good
props to the hook

i constanly think about it, i make indecisive decisions
i think about whats gonna happen why do i have these visions
i cant see nothing, not even my hand infront of my face
its cold, and dark i just need something to embrace

great peice of wording

keep it up

[past.elevation]

thanx for the feed but it was still shitty feed the longest part of it was my hook that you copied and pasted

[-IsIs-]

i liked it to. flow was tight. the structure was clean in my opinion. the imagery wasnt really apparent in conjunction with description. but wordplay and multies upped this for me. overall a 6/10. you have some nice potential that is just waiting to be harnesed. keep droppin homie you will be pretty dope. can you drop an honest vote in my battle in my sig its gettin slept on.

[Ryan]

yo this was a pretty strate peice but a lil elevation wouldnt hurt...

7.5/10

[***Lady_Latin***]

i think that dis was a tyt drop...overall i like ur structure (even tho it def looks like a song) but if u's recordin it soon then dat xplains it all--
ur word choice kept it simple but i think dat more xtensive vocab probably woulda killed da piece...
my favorite lines were def ur hook...

{Hook}
i constanly think about it, i make indecisive decisions
i think about whats gonna happen why do i have these visions
i cant see nothing, not even my hand infront of my face
its cold, and dark i just need something to embrace

overall, nice drop--def elevate on ur imagery, i think dat would help make ur pieces better.
if u used some internal rhymin stead of mainly da ends dat would def elevate ur writin...
But other than dat, keep dis up & i look 4ward 2 readin more from u. ~1~
-LL

[past.elevation]

thanx for the feed, lets get some more

[past.elevation]

uppin for more feed

[past.elevation]

uppin for feed

[past.elevation]

Uppin For Feed Come On Ppl Dont Sleep On This