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Thread: About Today...

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    About Today...

    aiite on a real i'm tryna change my style of writin, so only today i wrote this as a freestyle>>>> let me kno what yall think...

    ...........About my day 2day............

    In life there’s temptation, always agony occurred
    With only a lil sensation, yet wantin more is preferred
    Got so many dreams, but only little is achieved
    Tryin so hard 2 succeed, while they try & deceive
    As i’m con-cen-tratin, i get pulled to other angles
    Don’t want non ha-tin, Traumatized how much i handle
    & still i cant be eliminated, cah i’m down & devoted
    i spit out fire, tha flames waitin to be reloaded

    Someone breakin trust, is like slugs goin right thru ya
    Tha truth it fukin hurts, u be like “wish i never knew ya
    But chu learn from dat shiit, it only gets u more wizer
    Careful who might snitch, & who gon’ be tha bloody lier
    Life is like a tiger snake, cah fa real its very poisonious
    Gotta watch out fo tha fakes, cah they DON’T be avoidin us

    Hate is like glue, cah it always follows u around
    Ur own friendz so true, say they loyal but never down
    Ent nobody straightforward, envious eyes to much jealousy
    They’d rather see u get lowered, then sit back & sip Hennessy
    Muthafukas keep testin me, laydeee snypah ent restin b
    If this shiit gets u hyped up!... then i’ma let dis be....yep!
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  3. #3
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    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  4. #4
    Breannah
    Guest
    sick shit mami
    the vocab was strong you used some aggressive words here that was some tight shit some real life feelin to it the flow was sick as well keep up teh good shit your good at this

  5. #5
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    thanx fo' readin.. feed appriciated!
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  6. #6
    Breannah
    Guest
    your welcome i wish i could write some shit like that imma have yo try

  7. #7
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    trus me theres DOPE heads here.. & i'm far from it... but yeah i would like 2 see shiit from u stil..
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    dammit! so many views yet hardly any feed! v.g
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    im feelin it man
    open mics

  10. #10
    Soule
    Guest
    2 b quite honest i didnt like this piece much. dont get me wrong, it was aight but not the best ive seen. the structure and vocab were good, gotta giv u props 4 dat. but i found this piece to be almost pointless, it was just random blabbering about random shit. and i can tell you like to take that G approach on things, which is all good u kno cuz its workin 4 ya and all, but try and make a point or message 2 ur pieces. the rhymes were good, just i dont think you need 2 make them a different color, its kinda annoying... we can all read and we know what rhymes and wut doesnt so keep it all 1 color plz... the rhymes seemed kinda forced in there, it didnt seem very natural and ur gonna have 2 work on that... i liked the multis i saw tho, good work on that... the flow was good, but a lil more choppy towards the end so u might wanna revise that...

    all in all it was decent, but i think ur capable of doing better. the thing i like about u is that ur not a predictible female artist, you dont just write about guys and getting your heart broken. and you try and do something new everytime. so good job and keep it up

    return the favor and leave feed on my OM in my sig...

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Quote Originally Posted by themaster
    im feelin it man

    that all...
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Belligerant
    2 b quite honest i didnt like this piece much. dont get me wrong, it was aight but not the best ive seen. the structure and vocab were good, gotta giv u props 4 dat. but i found this piece to be almost pointless, it was just random blabbering about random shit. and i can tell you like to take that G approach on things, which is all good u kno cuz its workin 4 ya and all, but try and make a point or message 2 ur pieces. the rhymes were good, just i dont think you need 2 make them a different color, its kinda annoying... we can all read and we know what rhymes and wut doesnt so keep it all 1 color plz... the rhymes seemed kinda forced in there, it didnt seem very natural and ur gonna have 2 work on that... i liked the multis i saw tho, good work on that... the flow was good, but a lil more choppy towards the end so u might wanna revise that...

    all in all it was decent, but i think ur capable of doing better. the thing i like about u is that ur not a predictible female artist, you dont just write about guys and getting your heart broken. and you try and do something new everytime. so good job and keep it up

    return the favor and leave feed on my OM in my sig...

    aaaw so fuckin sweet! thanx.. nah fa real i appriciate ur feed.. i'm workin on it stil.. feel me.. but thanx for checkin it..
    i'll check ur om out 2moro i gotta go now.. 1
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  13. #13
    Newbie
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    i see why you downed my shit cuz u under me this right here was know where near hot.the only thing nice about it is that you changed the colors of ya letters. you wack but anyway why you and the otha chick the only one i see replyin to this shit?

  14. #14
    Newbie ace baby's Avatar
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    even thouigh imma newbie but this was hott but ive seen bettah from . it was still tight thopgh. i like the flow of it and the complexity with it girl keep doin yur thing. u still got sick talent iiaght
    ACE NIGGAHS MEANS IM THE BEST

  15. #15
    But chu learn from dat shiit, it only gets u more wizer
    Careful who might snitch, & who gon’ be tha bloody lier

    this line was wack.rest was pretty good tho.u arnt that consistant wit ur level of rhymes or flow.jus need to elevate a lil.thats all

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