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Thread: Behind Enemy Lines (In Battle Verses )

  1. #1
    Newbie Liyah's Avatar
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    originally from BADNEWS,VA
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    Behind Enemy Lines (In Battle Verses )

    sticks-n-stones break bones , but these bars may slaughter you,
    obviously the word is enemies are entirely feeble/
    in need of a mentor, i oblige likely that's these bytches didnt meant war ,
    with artilery attacks in verses , are lines i done heard before/
    controlin' the forces that levitated through the minds,
    the scale weight applied with massive pressure at times/
    energy extracted the voltz that make up,
    the wire circuit which cut short, inside the cranium is the plugs/
    It's a hard knock love, if life pends trial get ruled against it,
    try turnnin a negative to positive image,bytches be grimey with vengence/
    revenge and shyt ,dysfunctional kats strictly wildin' off the henges,
    out of all the incompetence, knowin that vivid contrivances,are kempt to sentencings/
    Only The Strong Survive...


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    Householdz


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    BEHIND ENEMY LINES(in a battle verse)


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    ClICK The LINK THATS ME .

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~MetaSin~'s Avatar
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    this piece seems okay work on concepts....I see OM has changed since I've been here but you lacked creativity which is a key to have a good OM's the lines were mad streched so work on that the pice could have been much better also a strange topicyou tried to force multies also which can be a good thing if it makes sense so really elevate on that the only thing you were really good at was vocabulary do just elevate on concepts that are fresh

  3. #3
    Newbie Liyah's Avatar
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    aight thanx dawg
    Only The Strong Survive...


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    Householdz


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    BEHIND ENEMY LINES(in a battle verse)


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    ClICK The LINK THATS ME .

  4. #4
    r!PpER
    Guest
    ur missing two links liyah i know u got lots of comments on other pieces so just paste two here..

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