can you remember when

[Button Man]

ok this is a slow lovey joint, thought id mix it up so check and rate this shit...

Verse 1

Can you remember when, we were more than friends
I used to love your company even tho you drove me round the bend,
Every time you look at me, I get back these memories
Of us together having picnics under great oak trees,
All the summer nights, laying on the grass
When the moments right id even grab on your arse,
Just a silly thing that I used to do
But it’s a silly thing that makes me always want to miss you,
Dreaming about your face, dreaming about our place
Cant stop dreaming dreams im a love sick mental case,
Id get in from work and id be feeling down
Something else I miss is the lack of female sound,
The way you’d make me smile, the way you drove me wild
The way you had about you, you jus have so much style,
I want you back so much, its what I wanna do
I cant move on no more, I just cant forget about you,

Verse 2

Can you remember when, our anniversary came again
It was our second one, I couldn’t believe this would be the end,
Maybe if I tried, I could have been better probably
I could have tried harder to be the boyfriend you wanted of me,
I think im at that stage, the dreaded stage of blame
Its about that time I wish that time could turn back and change,
but what I need to do is open up to you
Explain my feelings over one of our favourite foods,
Can you still see, on Sunday’s how it use to be
Id have my music on you’d be reading some magazine,
Now we’re so far apart its all completely new
I hate change so much especially when its a change to you,

Verse 3

I just cant believe what ive finally come to
Im wreck all the time like I been going fifty rounds of kung fu,
Seeing you with him you seeing me alone
I still cant take your pretty picture off the wallpaper on my phone,
what Is wrong with me, I cannot move on at all
I just wanna scream jump around and hit all the walls,
But what will I do when I take a fall
You were always there before I even touched the floor,
Blowin kisses through the wind aimed to hit my cheek
And if I ever caught em you call me a sneaky cheat,
Like flash photography im blinded by each memory
Looking at your happiness it seems you’ve easily forgotten all about me,

[Button Man]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...31#post4717931

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=300160

[I Incis]

This was nice. The imagery was there but at time it was lost like you'd describe something but forget to end it. Ex:

Seeing you with him you seeing me alone
I still cant take your pretty picture off the wallpaper on my phone,

You kind of lose the reader with that.
Wording was decent could've used some help. The ex. I showed you also supports that. The melody however had a more poetic flow. Like I tried to switch it but it didn't sound right. Wordplay wasn't really here but you could have added some. Just to add a bit more to it. The emotion was subtle. But overall this was a nice read.

[Eyemeag]

Decent piece. A romantic one, umm.. i felt you couldqa upped your vocab a bit. aswell as bring more lines with more than 1 syllabel rhymes.. decent job tho, keep at it.